News from Nigeria

DAY 14

(May 16)

Dave and I woke up this morning with terrible GI upset. You always hope it won’t happen but it’s kind of inevitable for us Westerners here in Africa. Thankfully, Dave felt well enough to take AJ to a radiology office for an arm x-ray. They left around 9 am with Mr. A. I stayed home and tried to manage the chaos from the couch. Lots of prayers for strength to survive the day! I resorted to screen time for Luke and Ben and just had P&P play in the living room next to the couch. We had received a recommendation for a doctor the day before from another American adoptive family. I texted with the doctor last night and he gave me instructions to go to radiology for the x-ray then come to his clinic so he could review the images. Things are done differently around here, for sure. No doctor’s order for the x-ray and no actual appointment times for either office. By 11 am, they were done with the x-ray so Mr. A drove them to the doctor’s office. When they arrived, they were told by the office staff that Dr. M doesn’t come in until 4:00pm. Another doctor overheard their conversation, so he came to do an unofficial exam of AJ’s arm and looked at the radiology report. Report said negative for fractures and this doctor thought that was likely to be the case given the good strength AJ had in his arm. So even though we never had a doctor review the images on the disc, we felt ok with proceeding in belief that his arm was not broken. It did seem somewhat miraculous. Anders was unable to move his arm since the injury and the elbow was quite swollen. He hadn’t been able to hold himself up on the potty or bend his elbow to eat a sandwich, etc. But by the afternoon today, the swelling decreased greatly and he had much more strength. We were relieved! Thanks for all the prayers on that account! (I did text the doctor back to let him know that we had followed his instructions and gone to the clinic after the x-ray and he just said “Sorry. Tuesday and Thursday I come to office at 4pm.” Very Nigerian of him to not give us that helpful tidbit the evening before lol.)

After their x-ray outing, Dave and AJ stopped at the grocery store to stock up on some items and after they got home, Dave walked down the street to look at another apartment he recently found on Airbnb. He was very impressed by it and though it is only a 2-bedroom (as opposed to 3 where we are currently), I think it will be a much better place to call our temporary home. It has a nice pool and much better gym. There won’t be security guards breathing down our necks everyday when we’re swimming or using the gym. And Dave said it is much nicer/cleaner than here. Actually has good kitchen supplies and decent towels and waste baskets. We will move in there on June 1. Another thing to be thankful for!

In the evening, Morgan Hill notified us that they would be coming with the social worker to do our bonding assessment the next day at 11 am. Nothing like last minute notice! Though we were both feeling quite sick at this point, we decided to move ahead anyway. We don’t want to be the cause of any slowing down of this process!!

DAY 15

(May 17)

Today I feel better. Still not able to eat anything but my strength is returning. Dave, on the other hand, got hit with the worst of it today. I guess it was a blessing that we didn’t have our worst days on the same day!

My dear friend Adun had texted yesterday to ask how everyone was doing. When I told her that Dave and I were fighting sickness, she said “I will come to visit you tomorrow.” She came in the morning and per usual, was our bright spot. She brought smiles and fun to the kids. She prepped some food for me and did some dishes while we had our bonding assessment. Cheri and our social worker spent about an hour at our house watching the twins interact with us and asking us questions about how the bonding was going so far. They don’t give any day-of feedback of their assessment, but we are hopeful that it will be favorable. The next big step is to go for another court hearing on Tuesday for the official Bonding Assessment. If the judge thinks that 2 weeks of bonding was adequate for our family, he or she will approve another court date to legalize the boys’ adoption. This is our next big prayer request… that these next steps would go smoothly and expeditiously. 

Little victory today: First day since we’ve had the twins that there was NO intentional peeing on the floor! (There’s still a lot of unintentional peeing on the floors, walls, etc. by the toilet but this is progress!)

DAY 16

(May 18)

Peter was awake for most of the night last night. Not really sure why. So needless to say, we're tired but feeling grateful for the strength needed to do the day! Today was a more encouraging day overall. Dave and I were both able to eat some real food. Pizza never tasted so good!! Two American adoptive families who are staying nearby came over to our apartment for dinner. It was mayhem with so many kids but fun to chat with new friends who can very much relate to the process we’re in.

Miss Adun came again today (another 1.5-2 hour bus ride to get here!). She went to the market and the grocery store and got all the things on our list. Then she cooked a huge pot of jollof rice, some chicken, and come curry sauce.

I would say this is the most settled the twins have seemed yet. They’re still rambunctious and require 24/7 supervision but they are learning quickly and their emotions are leveling out a bit more. We are teaching them to come place their hands on our arms if they want to get our attention and then quietly ask for something instead of screaming bloody murder from across the house. They like this new technique. (And so do we!) One funny thing P1 said: I was explaining to them that when we’re inside we don’t scream; we use our “inside voices.” Immediately he says, “OK I want to outside and scream now.” So smart and funny! P2 cracks us up. His response to almost anything, good or bad, is a very emphatic and loud, “WHOA! WHOA!” He’s so expressive! One of the not-so-funny things he says is a very common phrase here in Nigeria, we are learning. If an adult corrects him, he says (with attitude mind you), “I beat you!” This is a common phrase that adults use when correcting children in this culture. Very shocking for us to hear!

AJ, P&P seem to be settling into a more peaceful bedtime routine. All three little boys lined up in their huge king size bed. Dave and I read them stories, Dave sings his infamous rendition of Old MacDonald and we lie down on their bed until they fall asleep.

We are thankful that my dad, "Papa" plans to fly here in a couple weeks to stay with us and help out. We are starting to feel pretty bad for the 3 resident kiddos. The twins require so much of us, so it doesn't seem fair that the others suffer because of it. Papa who is a Nigeria expert will be the perfect one to have around to make sure everybody gets the love and attention they need while we are all out of our element!