A Mommy's Memoir

Well, consider this your warning... this blog is going to turn into a mama's journal. From this point forward, I don't really expect anyone to read this except my mom ;). For Ben's first 18 months I had a calendar going where I'd record milestones, but I think the official note-taking is over. Instead of baby books for the boys, I'm just going to use this blog to record special things so we can always look back and remember.

Luke has been home for one week today. He's come a long way in only 7 days! He still prefers his daddy for sure but he's definitely getting more comfortable with his mama especially when dad isn't around.

He is doing really well eating... eggs, chocolate protein shakes, injera and Ethiopian stews, pasta, chicken nuggets, cheese sticks, fruit/veggie purees, whole milk, avocado, bananas, clementines... I'm pleased with this long list! Hopefully we'll start to see more fat and muscle soon! He's even feeding himself with utensils. After just a couple days of being home, he stopped pocketing food in his mouth. Hopefully he's realizing he can have food and drink whenever he wants it.

He loves his baths with Ben. He's a natural fish. Lots of splashing and laughing and gargling water. He independently scrubs himself with soap and rinses. Sometimes he even tries to help scrub Ben.

He seems to understand a fair amount of what we're saying already. We've heard him say "bye" and "come on" and "dad." Today he signed "chicken nugget" and "please" for the first time.

His sleep schedule is still off but we're getting closer to a routine. He hasn't needed to come into our bed the last couple nights. We see him periodically stand up in the middle of the night looking for us. Usually if we just say hi he lays down and goes back to sleep. He has been sleeping in a crib in our room but today we moved it to Ben's room. They napped well... we'll see if it works for overnight. Luke likes to have blankets draped on all four sides of his crib just like they did at the orphanage.

Coming up for air

I can't believe we've been home for three days already. We've been in survival mode trying to catch up on sleep and recover from sickness, but overall I would say we've had more up's than down's. We can't thank you all enough for your prayers... we know God has given so much help and grace during our travels home and our initial adjustments as a family of four.

We see progress each day. Luke continues to come out of his shell. There are moments where he is running, laughing, and playfully screaming (very loudly might I add!) when we wonder how this could be the same quiet kid we brought home from Africa. It's a rewarding sight!

Eating has been a challenge... we knew it would be. We're trying to get as many high calorie, nutritious foods in him as we can. So far we have the best luck with scrambled eggs, chocolate protein shake, fruit/veggie pouches, and stews/injera from a local Ethiopian restaurant. He looks SO SKINNY compared to Ben. Can't wait to get some meat on his bones!! 

Luke and I have had to work at bonding since he still prefers his daddy big time. It's hard to not be able to smother him with love, but we've had some breakthroughs already here and there. So far our best times together have been on walks when Dad isn't around; I either carry him on my back or he rides in the double stroller with Ben. 

We knew Ben was a sweet kid but he's blown us away with his kindness to Luke. From the moment Luke walked in, Ben has showered him with kisses, hugs, toys and food-- even when Luke has responded with fussiness or a shove. So far Ben doesn't show signs of being jealous. He gets sad sometimes when Luke doesn't reciprocate his kind gestures or when Luke starts crying loudly, but for the most part they play with each other exactly how you would expect two toddlers to play. We can see Luke learning from Ben already. So far he has taught him to give kisses, drink from a straw, stand on the radiator to see out the window, and throw things at the chicken coop to make the chickens jump. What a joy to watch these brothers together. We pray it's the start of a beautiful, lifelong friendship.

Here are a few pictures of our first days together...










                  

Homeward bound

June 21, 2017

One hour left on this 17-hour flight to D.C. I am so relieved!!

Currently Luke and Dave are asleep. Luke is still on Dave’s lap (where he has been the last 16 hours, refusing to go anywhere else!). An adorable sight. Two of my three boys resting peacefully. Luke’s perfect, dark skin contrasting beautifully against his green shirt that says “I’m the big brother.” He’s snuggled up with his big pillow and soft elephant blanket gifted specially to him by the Hulls before our trip. Headphones in ears playing familiar Ethiopian tunes. Lord, I cannot thank You enough for Your help in getting us through this long leg of our journey!!

So much has happened in three days.

Our flight departed D.C. Sunday at 11:30 in the morning. We flew for 13 hours, but in Ethiopian time it was 7:30 Monday morning when we arrived so essentially we just skipped Sunday night. Our faithful driver Tedi was a welcomed sight waiting in the parking lot of the airport. Around 9:00 we checked in at the same hotel we stayed at the last time— Addis View. Ate a quick breakfast. Dave showered; I splashed some water on my face and reapplied makeup. Maybe that will hide my fatigue. :) And it was off to the races. Time to take custody of Luke before our 2:00 pm appointment at the U.S. Embassy.

It’s at least a 45-minute drive to his orphanage, Edget. We soaked in the sights, sounds, and smells of Addis, now somewhat familiar to us. I just kept thinking about how crazy this day is for Luke. Leaving the only home he has ever known. In the last year and a half, he probably only left this compound 4 or 5 times for various appointments.  And one morning, out of nowhere, he is taken by a white couple and Ethiopian driver, never to return.  Wow.  

Dave and I talked about how he’s kind of at a tough age for this.  If he was a little bit younger, he probably wouldn’t be too aware of what’s happening.  If he was a little bit older, he could comprehend more of what is going on.  But he’s somewhere in the middle…

When we arrived at Edget, Luke was getting spiffed up by the nannies so we played with the other kids until he was freshly bathed and dressed in clean clothes. When he saw us, he tried to avoid us. We gave him his space and hung out with him and the other children for about two hours. 

With the help of Tedi’s translating skills, I was able to ask the nannies a few basic questions about Luke. What kinds of things do you think are important for us to know? What is his normal routine? What does he usually eat? What do you do to soothe him? Does he have any objects or belongings that are special to him? Do you bathe him in a tub or shower? I can’t say I got a lot of information but we did the best we could given the time constraints and language barrier. There were so many other things I’d like to ask… What Amharic words does he say most frequently? What techniques do you use to get him to eat or drink or go to sleep? What kinds of things is he afraid of? What do you see as his strengths? weaknesses? The list goes on, but I guess we’ll just figure it out as we get to know each other over the coming weeks and months!

When it was time to leave the orphanage, we took one last picture of him and his friends together. We gave big hugs to the nannies and said “thank you” over and over. We left a written letter to the staff to express our immense gratitude. Hopefully the orphanage director will translate it for them so that they will know how thankful we are for their incredible love and care to Luke over the last year and a half. He was truly loved; this we know. 

Luke sat in the back seat between me and a staff worker from our agency. He inched his way as close to her and as far away from me as he could. We drove to the embassy with our quiet and wide-eyed Luke. After a little while, he let me put my hand on his arm and then hold his hand.

The embassy was set up like the DMV. A large waiting room with workers behind windows. After a short wait, Megan called our name. We were glad we got to meet Megan. She advocated on our behalf in a big way when the Ethiopian government announced the suspension. We told her that her work will not be forgotten. Poor Luke was still quiet and scared. He clung to the lady from our agency the whole time. 

With a large immigration packet in hand, we returned to the hotel. Shockingly, Luke let me carry him out of the car without a fuss. We brought him to our room and showed him the toys and books in his new Lightening McQueen backpack. He was so brave. No tears or crying. He was just very still and didn’t make a peep. You could see he was just trying to process everything. 

We tried to get him to eat some pasta for lunch, but weren’t too successful. It is easy to understand why he is so skinny. He doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite and he has this funny habit of holding food in his mouth instead of chewing and swallowing. (During our travels home, there were times he would hold the same bite of food in his mouth for over 20 minutes at a time!) We know that getting this boy some good nutrition and improved eating habits will be a HUGE part of our parenting job at the start.

Per the nannies, Luke usually takes a nap from 12:00-2:00, but on this day he slept from 3:00-7:00!! Poor kiddo was worn out… understandably… what a day! We were grateful for the time to nap as well since we had been awake for a couple days straight. We just hung out together that evening and he slept through the night in a comfy little crib. 

The whole thing is so surreal. We’ve been pinching ourselves constantly. We can’t believe he is our son! Such a huge blessing!! Just like we did when Ben was born, we find ourselves just staring at him saying to each other, “He is so cute!”

Yesterday we had a pretty low key day. We visited the care center (the one that is run by our adoption agency) to say goodbye to Yared and tell him how thankful we are for everything he and his staff did to fight for our families and bring these children home! They did a coffee ceremony for us which is their custom for families going home. They roasted the coffee beans right there in front of us on a charcoal fire. Delicious coffee! And they made the freshest, best tasting french fries I’ve ever had!! Ethiopians definitely have the gift of hospitality.

It was remarkable to see Luke come out of his shell even in the first 24 hours. Slowly but surely, you could see him loosening up. Starting to play and laugh and run around. When we were out and about, he stayed within three feet of me at all times and wanted to be on my lap for the car rides.

That afternoon I took a little nap while Dave and Luke had fun playing together. Since then Luke has really shown a preference for Dave. If Dave leaves him with me for even a minute, Luke just screams and cries until his dad comes back. Except for 20 minutes when he was sleeping in the chair next to us, he sat on Dave’s lap for the entire 17 hours of our first flight!!! It’s so precious and it made our trip much smoother since he is so comfortable with Dave, but it’s a little overwhelming too. Dave said he feels like he’s going through Daddy Boot Camp and I feel sort of helpless. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when Dave goes back to work! But I know in time Luke and I will bond as well…

Father's Day

Sorry for being so slow to post updates. It's been a little bit of a circus since coming home ;) But at the moment both boys are napping so I'm taking the opportunity to open my computer and post the entries that I wrote while we were traveling...

June 18, 2017

I said to Dave it’s not every Father’s Day that you get to fly to Ethiopia to pick up your firstborn son!  :)  Pretty amazing.

Yesterday we flew to D.C. and stayed overnight in a hotel.  It wasn’t the best night sleep ever for either one of us, but it definitely beat the sleepless red eye flight we took the last time!  

This morning I woke up to this verse popped up on my iPhone:

Ps. 68:5

“A father of the fatherless,

a defender of widows,

Is God in His holy habitation.”

Later on the plane I read the rest of the chapter…

“God sets the solitary in families;

He brings out those who are bound into prosperity…

Ethiopia will quickly stretch out her hands to God.”

Hopefully someday Luke will see that God, his Heavenly Father, reached down seeing his need and placed him in our family.  We realize that it may take awhile for Luke to understand that this abrupt change in his life is for his greater good.  In the moment, I don’t think he’s going to feel like he’s being saved or rescued.  More likely, he will feel confused and scared.  But we trust that with help from above, he will quickly learn that he is loved and safe with us.

This morning I also read these verses:

Heb. 12:1-3

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside very weight, and the sin which so easily ensures us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.  It made me think of our little workout session at the hotel gym last night (though my walking/jogging can hardly be classified as a “race” but that’s beside the point!).  As I was on the treadmill, I was trying to process the many emotions that come with this adoption journey.  I was praying and telling the Lord that I just feel inadequate and unprepared.  There are so many unknowns.  So many “what if’s”… it’s overwhelming.  What if he doesn’t like us?  What if he just cries and cries our whole trip home?  What if he gets mad because we don’t understand what he’s saying?  What if I don’t have what it takes?  It’s scary.  But I felt Him encouraging me as I ran uphill on that treadmill.  As a matter of fact, I felt a lot more energetic than normal, like I could run for miles on end.  (Later I realized that some of that was because my lungs had just traveled from a mile-high to sea level.  Once again, beside the point!)  I was blasting Today’s Christian Hits on Pandora.  “Your love never fails, it never gives up; it never runs out on me.”   God never gets tired.  He never gives up on me.  He fights for us.  He’s fighting for Luke and it’s a privilege to be a part of that.  I know this is the race he has carved out for us.  And He reminded me that I don’t have to feel up for the challenge.  He is the One doing the work.  He will give us the strength and stamina and wisdom that we need.  “Let go and Let God.”  That’s what I need to do.

The day has finally arrived!!!

We received word yesterday that all of the immigration paperwork for Luke is in hand. We booked our flights right away. We will be leaving this Saturday and bringing our son home next Wednesday!!! :) YAY!!!!!! Can't believe this day has finally arrived. It's been quite the fight, but we are thankful for so many answered prayers!

I want to ask you to keep praying for several things...

Safety for our travels. There is still a travel warning for Ethiopia.

Preparation for Luke's heart and mind for this huge transition. I am dreading having to take him away from his current home and orphanage family. I know it's for his greater good, but I just can't imagine how hard it's going to be for him initially.

Help for Dave as he prepares to leave work for a little while. It's difficult timing for him.

Help for Ben who will be staying home. Thankfully we have so many willing family members to take care of him including my parents who are flying to CO on Saturday.

Stamina for us during our travel days. We leave Saturday morning for D.C. and plan to spend the night in a hotel to get at least a few hours of sleep before the 13-hour flight to Addis, leaving Sunday morning. We will arrive in Ethiopia Monday morning local time 7:15 am. Most likely we will have to drive directly from the airport to Luke's orphanage to pick him up. Then we will bring him to the U.S. Embassy to complete his visa application. We will spend Monday night in a hotel and hope to pick up his visa Tuesday. Our flight back home leaves Tuesday night at 10:45 pm which brings us to our next (and probably biggest) prayer request...

The 30+ hours of travel with a 2 1/2 year old boy who doesn't speak English and is probably going to feel like he's being kidnapped! We are trusting for supernatural help with this one!!

We're grateful for your prayers!!!

Maybe tomorrow?!

Today we received Luke's vital letter from MOWA. We have been told that we should receive his passport tomorrow. If we receive his passport tomorrow, we can probably schedule our Embassy visa appointment for early next week which would mean we will leave this weekend! Thank you, Lord... we are getting close to bringing our boy home!!!

Progress!

We received good news from the U.S. Embassy this week. It appears that MOWA will be issuing approval letters for families whose court decrees are dated before April 25th (ours is dated April 21st). We will hopefully receive this letter (called the vital letter) by Monday. Our adoption agency is working to get Luke's required medical physical completed by Monday. The next step will be getting his Ethiopian passport. For reasons unknown to us, there have been difficulties recently with the passport office. Families have been unable to obtain passports for their adoptive children. Our contact at the U.S. Embassy said they are working to resolve this issue. The time frame is still unknown at this point.

We are so grateful for the letter written by the U.S. Congress to the Ethiopian government on our behalf and for all the hard work by the staff members at the Embassy. There have been so many obstacles to overcome. And as always, we are most grateful for so many prayers on our behalf. Please keep them coming! Of all the efforts to bring Luke home, we know that your prayers make the biggest difference.



{Beautiful piece of art made by my sweet friend Tara Kent. We are so excited to bring our son home from afar...!}