We're coming home!

DAY 35

(June 6)




We’ve used the analogy many times during our trip of God parting the Red Sea. It has been evident on numerous occasions that He went before us and made the way. As I shared yesterday, we are feeling weary. We talked last night about how it says in the book of Exodus that God made the winds move “all night” the night before He parted the Red Sea for the Israelites. I told Dave that I am believing that even though we can’t see it, God is working behind the scenes “all night” to make things ready to part the seas again. The waiting and the unknowns are hard but we are trusting that He is getting things done even when we’re in the dark and can’t see it.




Well today was definitely a Red Sea day. Over the weekend, we were notified by Morgan Hill that the courts said our certified court order should be ready by Friday (initially it was supposed to be by Tuesday— 2 weeks from the court date) so we braced ourselves for more waiting. However, this morning at 10:15 we received a note that the court order was received and Morgan Hill had submitted our paperwork for the boys’ birth certificates! We had been told previously that the birth certificates would take at least a few days but around noon they sent us pictures of the completed birth certificates. We were shocked! Suddenly everything was moving quicker than anticipated. A much-needed encouragement for us! Tomorrow we take the boys for their NIN “capturing” appointment and then our duties for this trip are complete. Time to start researching flights back to the US and coordinating details to get the twins to Jos!




DAY 38

(June 9)




It’s kind of hard to believe but we have flights booked for one week from today! Friday the 16th will be a big day. Dave has a one-hour flight booked from Lagos to Abuja with Peter and Zion in the morning. Pray for him! I really wish I could be with him to help juggle the twins on a flight but I’m sure they’ll be fine! At this point, we have to divide and conquer in order to get everyone to where they need to be. Uncle Dan plans to drive from Jos (about 4 hours) to meet them at the Abuja airport. He will then drive the twins back to Jos. Dave has a flight booked from Abuja at 10 pm to fly back to the states. Our dear friends the Fretheims are working out the details of who will be caring for the twins in Jos. As those details come together, I will share them with you. All we know is that no matter what— these boys will be well loved and cared for in our absence. And we will be able to stay in close contact with them. Such a blessing!!!




Then the rest of us will head to the Lagos airport later that day for night time flights home. I will be with Luke, Ben and AJ on the midnight United flight. My dad will be on a Delta flight around 10 pm. Saturday the 17th we should all be arriving back in Denver. On three different planes! Papa will land around 9:30 am; the boys and I around 10:30 am. Then Dave will be back late afternoon. The boys and I will have a 2-hour layover in DC after our first 10-hour leg. Dave has an 8-hour layover in Frankfurt which is why he gets in so much later.




It feels so good knowing we will be home soon!! But it’s bittersweet of course. It is going to feel so weird to not bring the twins home with us. Though they’ve given us a run for our money, we are quite fond of them and they’ve already been part of the family for 4 weeks now. We will feel the hole, for sure. I am SO HAPPY that we have the assurance that they are going to be in such a wonderful, loving environment while they wait. This takes away a LOT of stress and anxiety that would have been present had we needed to leave them in Lagos. We are working on our strategy for the best ways to talk to them about the upcoming plans and preparing them for a separation from their family for a time.




DAY 40

(June 11)




The countdown continues. 5 more full days in this apartment. We are worn out. We’ve decided that being stuck inside an apartment with 5 small boys would be a very effective form of torture. To make it even worse, add major sleep deprivation. The days would be hard enough with some regular sleep at night but unfortunately the nights continue to get harder. We’ve had a steady stream of sick kiddos… fevers and coughs, mouth sores and earaches. Peter’s sleep is very restless at baseline and gets worse with sickness of course. Dave and I are woken up at least every hour by somebody. (Usually Peter or AJ.) Unless Zion is sick, he’s a good sleeper thankfully. Dave and I are beginning to feel like we’re losing our minds but somehow God always gives the strength needed for the moment. And we are SO GLAD we have an end date in sight. Not sure we would survive this if we were still waiting for the go-ahead to book flights home!




We do our best to get creative during the day to get everyone some activity. Unfortunately the pool has been out of the question lately. The water is freezing and it’s currently full of flies. So we’ve been doing workout videos in the living room. Dave has been taking Luke and Ben to run up and down the apartment stairs. We did finally get the key for the little gym so we’ve been going there to lift weights or ride on the stationary bike. Luke and Ben and I are continuing to work on finishing our 1st grade homeschool curriculum. It’s been nice to have papa here to help Luke with his math lessons!




Adun spent the night earlier this week; she did some shopping and cooking for us and lifted our spirits per usual. We also got to meet her kind-hearted husband, Precious! More yummy jollof rice, chicken curry and sweet potatoes.




We sat down with the twins two days ago to start to explain what is about to happen. We opened a book to a world map and showed them where we are currently in Africa and where their Colorado home is. We explained the upcoming sequence of events. We told them that if it were up to us, we would bring them home right now. They understand the concept of authority so we told them that the “bosses” in our lives (the governments in our countries) have rules that we have to follow before we can bring them home. We told them that daddy will bring them on a plane to meet Uncle Dan then Uncle Dan and our friends in Jos will take good care of them while we go back to Colorado to get their home ready for them. We told them that as soon as the “bosses” give us the approval, mommy and daddy will get on a plane back to Nigeria to pick them up and bring them home for forever. We’ve been practicing the phrase “mommy and daddy always come back” over and over. We told them when they’re feeling scared, they need to say that phrase out loud. We also told them that we will talk to them on the phone when they’re in Jos. We told them they can always ask friends in Jos to call mommy and daddy and their brothers when they want to talk to us. Zion went on his merry way after the initial conversation. He didn’t seem phased at all. On the other hand, Peter’s demeanor changed immediately. It was like you could see the wheels turning in his brain. He got very serious and you could see his little tongue nervously moving inside his upper lip. The more we talk about it and rehearse their comforting phrase, the less nervous Peter seems. If we say “mommy and daddy always…”, he replies with a smile “come back.”




I’m going to miss their little voices. Zion basically speaks his own language. A lot of times he only says the first syllables of words so you’re left to fill in the blanks. Somehow I can usually translate what he says. Not sure how. Adun always says, “Yup you’re definitely the mom because I have no idea what he’s saying!” Hi sounds more like “ha.” House also sounds like “ha.” Hand sounds pretty much the same as well. Leg is “yeg.” Egg is also “yeg.” Rice is “wa.” Sometimes I ask Peter to help me understand what Zion is saying. He’ll say to me, “He’s speaking English!” As if to say, “Mom, you should be able to understand him.” They call Ben “Banana” because that’s what “Benaiah” sounds like to them. Nigerian English is basically a form of British English so their accents are great. Peter loves to say his full name which comes out “Peetah Freetzlah.” The call hats caps and pants trousers. Zion says “WHOA!” all the time. And they add a syllable to bye. It sounds like “Bye-ee.”




Poor Anders hasn’t had the easiest time adjusting to having new brothers. He’s regressed in a lot of ways. Lots of temper tantrums, meltdowns and peeing accidents. At the same time, we get glimpses of the good times to come. There are sweet moments where the three littles are having a blast together or acting goofy at the dinner table. One night when we were putting them to bed, they were cracking each other up trying to hurl insults at mom and dad. Peter would call Dave “Daddy naughty boy Fritzler.” Then AJ would say “Mommy smarty pants” and Zion would just call everyone “poo-poo.” Naturally they found themselves very funny. Another time they were at the table eating a snack, talking on and on about who knows what. I said to Adun, “Can you imagine these three in the same classroom together at school someday?” She says, “I’m going to start praying now for their teachers.” Hahaha! Probably a good idea.




This whole thing is hard but we’re all learning lots through it and we just have to keep reminding ourselves of the big picture. These sweet boys had nothing. No family. No home. And all of this will be worth it in the end. What an amazing day it will be when we get to bring them home to Berkshire Lane in Castle Pines, Colorado!!




This morning all 5 boys were at the table eating a snack. I was reminding them that we all have a choice every day, every moment. Are we going to choose to be thankful for what we have or grumpy about what we don’t have? I told them that mommy and daddy are learning this lesson too. I asked each of them to tell me something they are thankful for. Their answers were surprisingly good. Luke said “that you adopted me.” Ben said “that I was born into this family.” Anders said “that my boys are here.” (meaning the twins) Peter said “that my family is here.” Zion just parroted Peter as he often does :)

Highs and Lows

DAY 34

(June 5)




We left home 5 weeks ago tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie… we’re feeling pretty weary. We feel “stuck” in many ways. We knew this was going to be a very challenging, stretching process but I have to admit— it’s been even more so than we thought. We expected to feel cooped up and stir crazy. We expected to have to exercise a lot of patience with the twins and with the African way of doing things. We expected the adoption process to be slow-moving and unpredictable. But these are the things we didn’t expect…




The city feels more unsafe than we anticipated. So much so that we rarely go out anywhere. Adun does most of our shopping. Dave will go out once a week to do some shopping as well— mostly just so he can get outside and stay sane. With the exception of moving from one apartment to the other (just down the street), I haven’t left our compounds for the last 2 weeks. Even if we felt like it was worth the safety risk to take the kids out to a restaurant or museum or something, it’s just too stressful with the twins and where they’re at with their behavior.




We thought we’d at least have a gym to use in order to get ourselves some physical activity. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case yet. Like I mentioned previously— at our first apartment, most of the gym equipment didn’t work plus the room smelled so strongly of spray paint that it was too overwhelming to spend much time in there. We were looking forward to the gym at our new apartment, especially because it has a stationery bike! However, in typical Nigeria fashion, the security guards can’t find the key to open the gym for us so we haven’t been able to use it. For now, I’ve been doing kickboxing videos and Dave has been running up and down the apartment stairs. (Makes me a little nervous that he’s going to injure something as he runs the very uneven, haphazardly designed African stairs!)




We knew the process would be long for this first trip. They estimated 8-12 weeks. We were prepared for that. However, we weren’t prepared for getting to this point and wondering WHY we are still here. We thought there would be more of an apparent purpose for being in-country. They tell us that we have to remain in country while we wait for the official court order, birth certificates, NIN and the twins’ passports but when we try to ask clarifying questions for our involvement in these steps, we aren’t given clear answers or legitimate reasons to still be here. When we adopted Luke from Ethiopia, we had to be present in court to legalize his adoption (which makes perfect sense) but then we were able to return to the U.S. while the rest of the documents were obtained and the U.S. immigration/ approval was completed. Before coming here, we figured it would become clear why we have to stay in-country post-legalization. But it’s very much NOT clear and that is starting to cause us some major frustration. We are hoping and praying for some clarification soon. If we better understand our purpose here, it will help our perspectives greatly as we continue the groundhog days of confinement with 5 little boys. And furthermore, it will help us as we make decisions for the logistics in the coming weeks. I think we have about 17 different scenarios for how we get everyone back home. Variations include sending some or all of the original boys back to Colorado with papa. Dave and I get the twins to Jos. Or to Abuja where someone from Jos can come get them. Dave and I stay to get them to Abuja for their passport appointment. Or we try to hire a friend to bring them from Jos to Abuja when it's time for their passport appointment. Or I join papa and the boys and go back to the U.S. early, leaving Dave with the twins in Nigeria. Or we send papa back home with some of our luggage and fly the whole family to Jos. Or Abuja. And travel back to Denver together. Anyways... you get the gist. Lots of options!




We are very thankful for this new apartment. We’ve been here for 4 days now. It felt like such a huge relief when we got here. It is hard to describe how much nicer it is than the previous one! It doesn’t have so many horrible smells and weird noises and creepy cockroaches and nasty towels and the creakiest doors you’ve ever heard. The AC works great. The electricity never goes off. There’s actually a real dining room table and chairs! It’s so much more private than the other place. We don’t feel “on display” like we did at the other apartment. The only real negative is that we are extra cooped up here. There is no outdoor playground/field like the first apartment had. There is an outdoor pool but it is under a roof so there’s really nowhere to go get some sunshine and it makes for freezing cold pool water.




And of course our other bright spot is having Papa here with us now!! It is such a blessing! We’re pretty sure that Papa will always be a Santa Claus figure to Peter and Zion because when he arrived he had 2 suitcases of things for us… shoes and blankies for the twins, lots of our favorite foods, some books and toys from family back home, etc. I’ve especially loved the Tillamook cheese, Cadbury chocolate and GF pretzels that he brought!




One more positive note to end on-- Dave and I decided that it's a good sign that we still like being with each other lol. That has been one of the perks of this crazy ride. We get to be together non-stop for weeks on end. I mean, we'd rather have concentrated time together in Hawaii or Europe or something but for now, Nigeria will do. Wouldn't rather be "stuck" like this with anyone else in the whole wide world!