Oh, so thankful!

It's fun to think this is Luke's first holiday season American-style. And also his first holidays with a family. He caught on to Halloween real quick... "Dress up as a cute version of President Obama, run up to people's doors and get free candy. Sure, guys, I can do that!" It just keeps getting better, Luke. I'm excited to see what he thinks of Thanksgiving and Christmas! 

This Thanksgiving these two miracle babies are at the top of my grateful list, followed by the fact that I get to be their mostly-stay-at-home mom. Thanks to my hard-working husband who makes that possible-- and the Lord of course for providing ultimately!!

Some things we hear a lot these days...

"A-push" Somewhere along the way they added the extra syllable to "push." They're constantly asking to "a-push" things: the garage door opener, the stroller, buttons (especially the TV power button) and sadly, even people. (working on that last one!)

"Change you" when they need a diaper change. Ben cracked himself up one afternoon while he was laying in bed and supposed to be napping. He started with "change you, Ben." He was hoping that a diaper change would get him out of sleeping. I told him his diaper was freshly changed and not dirty. Then he tried, "change you, Luke." Maybe if mom is changing my brother, she won't make me go to sleep. Then with a smirk and a chuckle, he joked, "change you, Mama." How does a not-even-two-year-old understand that it's funny to suggest that mom have her diaper changed! I have no doubt that this boy will be a jokester the rest of his life.

"Hold you" when they want to be held.

"Aw geesh." I'm not necessarily proud of this one, but it is really funny to hear them say it. Dave, Mary and I have all realized how much we use this phrase. 

"Banana." When you ask Luke call Benaiah, it comes out sounding exactly like Banana. Hahaha!

"Dip." Ben is constantly asking for dip. It makes meals very messy but much more fun, I guess. Peanut butter, tomato soup, guacamole, yogurt, hummus, ranch dressing, etc...

Everyday I'm blown away by how observant they are. Yesterday Ben was looking through our photo album from just before he was born. There was a picture of the little Moses basket we bought for him to sleep in. He pointed to it and put his hands up asking, "Where baby?" I don't know how he knew that a baby belongs in there! He's never seen a baby in a basket like that except in a picture book we read once in awhile. I didn't even think he noticed it was a basket in the picture book, but I guess he did.

Dewey's ability to parrot words and sounds continues to be remarkable. Without any practice, a couple weeks ago I asked him to repeat the letters of the alphabet after I said them and he could do it almost perfectly!

Ben's first two-year molar broke the gums yesterday. At least now I have an excuse for the nights he doesn't sleep well and the days he has a bad attitude ;) Poor little guy! 12 teeth down, 3 1/2 to go-- that's encouraging!

Goldbug

Dave and I have noticed a big difference just in the last couple weeks with the way the boys are interacting. They are playing really well together. As Dave puts it, "They're just getting so much fun!" For several weeks now their favorite thing to do is play with their toy guns that shoot foam balls. Our house is constantly littered with the little red and blue balls-- all 120 of them! Although we're probably down to about 110. Some of them have been shot off the balcony into the backyard leaves and some of them have been thrown out after they were shot into dirty dishwater, etc. 

Their language skills continue to expand by the minute. Ben adores construction vehicles in books or in real life or on their current favorite show, "Mighty Machines." He is constantly talking about bulldozers, cranes and cement mixers. Luke appears fluent in English. You'd never know it wasn't his first language. Some of the words I love hearing the most from him are coffee, uncle, Hi Mommy, teddy bear and I love you. He decided about a week ago that his big teddy bear from Aunt Becky must always be with him at bedtime. 

Several weeks ago Ben decided he was done with the crib. Initially he slept in the twin bed overnight and the crib for naps, but now he sleeps solely in the bed. He loves having mama and/or daddy with him in the bed. His preferences change by the second. Sometimes he adamantly wants just one or the other of us in bed to put him to sleep and other times he "must" be sandwiched between both parents. This has become one of our favorite times of the day. We ask Ben if he had a good day and he amazes us each night with how much he can communicate about the day's events. One day after a walk on the trails behind our house, he recounted what he saw, "Tractor. Whoa! Hop hop. (bunnies) Woof woof. (dogs)" Made blowing noise with his lips. (dandelions) On halloween night he said, "Am-ma. Am-pa. (We went to grandma and grandpa's house to trick-or-treat.) Then he said, "Baby" and "Roaaarr." He was recounting the two things that spooked him... someone dressed up in a huge baby costume and someone dressed up as a gorilla. He usually tells us who he saw that day either in person or via FaceTime... Papa, "Nee" (Nanny), Am-ma, Am-pa, "Me" (Auntie Mary), Jachin, Bo, "Day" (Uncle Dave). 

When Papa was here for a visit, he introduced Ben to "Goldbug" the cute little character on every page of Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things that Go book. Ben still LOVES to find "Bug-Bug" and he's ridiculously good at it. He finds Goldbug very quickly on most of the pages and then claps for himself each time!

One night we left the boys with uncle and auntie. Apparently, Uncle Dave got a little enthusiastic while shooting their guns and broke one of them. For a week afterwards, whenever Ben would see the broken gun he'd point to it and say "Day" as if to tattle on his uncle once again. :)

Luke got his first haircut this week. He was a big wimp about it (shocker!) but it looks absolutely adorable!! He still likes to sleep in the crib. I think it's comforting for him. He climbs in and out with ease. Some mornings one or both of the boys will just show up in our room or they'll decide it's time to head downstairs. This morning they were heading down the stairs at 4:30 am! We had to nip that one in the bud!! Mama doesn't do 4 AM!

These boys bring us so much joy. We feel beyond blessed to have them as our sons. Dave and I love talking about the funny (and annoying) things they do each day. We've enjoyed a few date nights recently. Auntie is very sweet to watch them for us so we can get a little time to ourselves. The other night at dinner Dave said, "I loved the idea of adoption before we had Luke but now I REALLY love it!" I couldn't have said it better. So thankful that God brought Luke into our lives. I can't imagine life without that sweet boy. Such a privilege to have him in our family.

Mom elbow

All our stuff is moved and we're slowly getting unpacked and settled in our new home. We've learned that moving with kids is a LOT more challenging. Hopefully we won't do this again for a very long time! The boys struggled the first week with so much change and chaos, but they seem a little better since the weekend.

They continue to crack us up on a regular basis. For whatever reason, Ben has always loved to rub my arms to comfort himself before sleeping. Starting around 1 year old, he would fuss until I took my arms out of long sleeves so he could get to the skin. The last couple weeks, he's been touching my elbows and saying "Ow." I don't really know why. Maybe because they're rough, he thinks it's an "owie." Everytime I say, "No Ben, it doesn't hurt; that's just my elbow." Now "elbow" is his new favorite word. Last night when he was supposed to be going to sleep, he was standing in his crib calling for "Mom elbow." Hahaha.

Luke also had us laughing last night. Ben choked on his water and as soon as Luke heard him coughing he said, "You ok Ben?" Such a caring older brother! ;)

Since he came home, Luke often says what sounds like "Abwash." We assume it's an Amharic word, but don't know what it means. This weekend Ben starting saying "Abwash" too. Maybe he can translate it into English for us...

Last night I was telling Dave how rewarding it has been to see progress in the closeness of my relationship with Luke. I've loved him from the beginning but each day my love grows as we get to know each other better. It feels similar to when Ben was a newborn and we were getting to know each other, but obviously different because Luke is almost 3 years old and a lot of his personality is already established.

I read a devotional a couple days ago that shared this thought that has encouraged me. The devotional was inspired by the hymn "How Great Thou Art" and based on a few verses from Psalm 145: 

One generation shall praise Your works to another, 

and shall declare Your mighty acts. 

On the glorious splendor of Your majesty 

and on Your wonderful works, I will meditate. 

The thought that stuck with me was this: "This hymn helps me to remember the wonderful works He has done and to meditate on those, rather than circling around and around all the things I've left undone." A very helpful encouragement while I'm in the middle of an unpacked, disorganized disaster of a house! My mess doesn't matter. I've enjoyed thinking more about all God has done instead of the many things I need to get done eventually. He is so good and His works are wonderful!

The latest from the Fritzler Funny Farm

We're in the thick of it now. About half of our house is packed, all the pictures are off the walls. Dave has set up a renter for our current house starting 10/1. We will begin the move on 9/24 after the renters move out of the new house on the 23rd. Hopefully we will be completely moved in my the 28th...that's our goal anyway! 

I'm trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy for the boys amidst all the transition. We try to get out most days to the park or for a walk or play date with friends. Last week they had a day with Grandma and Grandpa while Mama packed boxes. This weekend they loved being at our friends' house, the Jansens, who have three sweet boys ages 7, 5, and 3. Dave and I were amazed that we could actually enjoy some adult conversation because their kiddos occupied ours! This morning they had fun playing with their buddy Jake Rooney. And most weeks we get some time with their beloved cousins, Jachin and Bo. 

Ben's sleep has improved dramatically. I'm trying not to get too excited in case it doesn't last, but both boys have been napping 2-4 hours each day and sleeping 10-11 hours straight overnight. Ben actually seems to like naptime and bedtime instead of fighting it every time. This does a mama's heart good!! I'm wondering if some of his sleeping and attitude problems the last couple months were actually related to illness. He's had pretty bad digestive issues since July. We were planning to start a trial of gluten and/or dairy avoidance to see if he has an intolerance, but we just found out that he has Giardia. Poor kid!! We will start antibiotics today for both boys even though Luke's culture came back negative. We're pretty sure Luke brought the Giardia with him since it's so common in Africa.

 

We're working hard everyday with Luke's attitude. He gets so upset so quickly, but I think he is learning (slowly!) that it's better to use words to communicate his needs instead of fussing and whining all the time. Their vocabularies continue to grow daily. Ben will tell you his name if you ask. The only problem is that when you ask Luke, "What's your name?" he says "Ben." Hahaha! They say shoes, keys, Uncle, bubbles, plane, ball, help-- just to name a few new words. Luke says "Bless you" when somebody sneezes and Ben says "Achoo!" Luke is quickly filling his shoes as the bossy big brother. If I reprimand Ben for something, Luke gets in Ben's face with a pointed finger to say, "No more Ben!" He tells Ben to wait. And he even tells him "Gentle!" when he thinks Ben is being too rough. A couple weeks ago I told Luke to go get a tissue; he came back with a shoe. I guess it sounded like Ti-Shoe to him. :) Ben jumped in and got the tissue for his brother!

So thankful I get to spend most of my days with these two boys!

A year of changes

August has been a full month. In the beginning of the month Dave went away for two nights on a guys' backpacking weekend. The boys and I survived with the help of aunties and cousins. The following weekend Dave went away for another two nights for a work trip during which time Ben and I had the stomach bug. That Saturday, Dave met us at the airport in Baltimore on our way to Rhode Island for a Broadbent beach vacation.

Other than Ben having three nights of high fevers, the week was a success. Luke LOVED the beach, every aspect of it-- the sand, the ocean, the waves and even the fried clam strips (we told the boys they were chicken nuggets!). Ben, on the other hand, wasn't so sure about the beach thing. His first words after setting foot in the sand were "Ow. Hot." He didn't leave his tent for the first couple days. The boys napped on the beach everyday. It was an adorable sight! There's just something about that salty air and the sound of the waves. Per usual, it was hard to say goodbye to Nannie, Papa and Uncle Jonny but we hope to see them again soon.

Luke's buddy Khalib from his orphanage in Addis was adopted by Nicole in Colorado Springs just a couple weeks ago. We got to meet up with them last week (see picture below). We were so excited to see how the two boys would respond when they were reunited but they acted as if they'd never seen each other. Toddlers! Hahaha! They're so unpredictable!

In other news, Dave put in his resignation this week at CBRE, his employer of 10 years. We've talked and prayed about him starting his own company for a long time and recently felt God leading us to make this change. He will be collaborating with two other project managers who also have their own businesses, so it's not as scary as being completely on his own. I'm really excited for him. I think he was made for this and I think he will be able to find a better work-life balance with this venture.

It's turned into a year of changes for us. Luke was added to our family in June. Dave starts a new job in September. And then we are moving into a new house in October! We feel very blessed.

{Here we are with Nicole and Khalib}

My crazy boys!

Lots of photos from our trip...

Travel pros (yeah right!)

Always being spoiled by Auntie

Hot lobster rolls!!

I've created a bedtime monster

I really thought we'd be dealing with Luke's issues at this stage in the game but he's our "easy" one right now; Ben is the tough one. We haven't really made any headway in the sleeping department. Last night was not so good. I sat in the chair with him from 7:15-8:45. He fell asleep twice in my arms but each time I put him in the crib he would wake up wailing. Dave finally brought him upstairs and I didn't end up putting him to bed until about 10:00. Then he was up at 11:30 crying. Came into our bed, tossing and turning until 2:30 at which point I brought him to the couch so Dave could sleep at least a couple hours before his work day began. He finally fell back asleep at 3:30 and slept until about 6:30. It feels like nights with a newborn again. So, I have to change my approach. At nap time today we practiced going to sleep in the crib instead of in mom's arms. It makes me sad because I've loved so many of those times rocking him to sleep but we just can't live like this. I need to get some rest so that I have some patience and energy during the day as I take care of these two.

It's funny how life's priorities shift back to the basics in this toddler phase. Pretty much all I'm dealing with is sleep, food, and safety. It feels pointless at times... like I'm not accomplishing much with my time. But I think it's just the nature of the beast, or in this case, beasts. Two of them, to be exact. 

Praying for wisdom and patience. Read James 1 today. Lots of good thoughts about wisdom and patience. How much I need God's help; by myself I am quite foolish and impatient. 

Luke is continuing to thrive, it would seem. He's a snuggle bug which I love. He continues to eat lots and sleep well. I love hearing the way he pronounces "chicken" and "cheese." He and Ben seem to be learning English together. They encourage the other one to talk. My favorites lately are when they say "Choo Choooo" (sounds like "Doo Doooo") for trains and when Ben says "Hi Luke" (Luke also sounds like "Doo"). Ben loves music, which he calls "Baa Baa." As soon as you get in the car or he sees an iPhone or you sit down for bedtime, he asks for music. During the 3-second pause between Pandora songs or during radio commercials, he says "Baa Baa." He's not the most patient child in the world.

When they get out of their high chairs, it's a full dismount. They hold mom's hand and their brother's hand and jump off the chair on the count of three. They think it's great.

Luke continues to be mommy's helper (sort of). The other day I asked him to get me a diaper for Ben, not really thinking he would, but he marched off to my diaper stash and brought me the whole bag. Once I removed one, he returned the bag to where it belongs without even being asked.

Thankfully Ben has not had anymore allergic reactions. His digestion still seems messed up, but I'm not sure if it's related. We have an appointment at the end of the month with the allergist. For now, we'll keep giving him the Zyrtec and always travel with our Benadryl and epipens.

We are so excited because one of Luke's buddies from his orphanage in Ethiopia is going to be coming home to Colorado soon! His mom Nicole lives in Colorado Springs and she just passed her court date today in Addis. We can't wait for these two friends to be reunited!!

Sweetest thing in the world

The other night at bedtime, Dave had already snuggled with Luke and put him down in his crib. Per usual, I was still in their room rocking Ben in our beloved chair. (Countless times I have thanked my husband for researching the best rocker before Ben was born. Thank you Restoration Hardware! If you have to spend half your life in a chair, it might as well be a comfy one!) Luke stood up pointing at us, so I picked him up and set him next to me in the chair. Ben was his usual squirmy self. He has to try about a thousand positions before deciding which is most comfortable. When he saw that Luke had joined us, he repositioned so that his head was next to his brother. After giving each other a dozen kisses, Ben settled in. I guess he finally found the best spot. Luke sucked his favorite fingers on his left hand and stroked Ben's head with his right. Ben promptly fell asleep. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Luke's little dark hand petting Ben's sun-lightened hair. Then Luke rubbed his own head. Then back to Ben's head. Back and forth, he would touch his own hair, then Ben's hair. It was like he was discovering how different their hair is.

I had a mini-meltdown last Wednesday. I guess 5 weeks of twin toddlers finally got to me. Ben has gone back to his old ways in the sleep department. Most nights it's a power struggle. He just wants things his way. Wednesday night it took two and a half hours to get him down! :-/ Dave and I are brainstorming strategies to get back into a better bedtime routine. Hopefully it won't take too long! I've realized that if I don't get 1-2 hours of a break in the evening with some time to catch up with my husband before we're completely exhausted, it wears on me.

Over the weekend we received some difficult news. I had brought Ben to the pediatrician a week ago because he had a pretty severe allergic reaction after lunch. The doctor called Saturday with his blood work results. He's allergic to EVERYTHING. Peas, Walnuts, and Cashews are the worst. Followed by several other things-- Peanut, Dairy, Wheat, Eggs, Soy, Beans, Corn, Potatoes, etc. For now, we aren't changing his diet too much. The doctor said if we try to eliminate everything then he may react badly when we try to reintroduce the items later. We have noticed changes over the last couple weeks that may be a result of his allergies. He's much more fussy than normal and has a hard time going to sleep. His digestion has changed and he occasionally has hives and rashes and swollen eyelids. I'm praying we can get him in to see an allergist very soon. I don't really know what I should and should not be feeding him. And I'm nervous about him having another bad reaction. We'd definitely love some prayers for God's protection over Ben.

The fun continues

It's nap time. Both boys are in their cribs. They continue to sleep in the same room (for better or for worse, not sure yet...) Only Luke is sleeping at the moment. Hopefully Ben doesn't wake him up with his constant chatter and sound effects!

There are so many things I feel like I should do... fold laundry, write thank-you notes, pay bills, make appointments, blah, blah, blah. Instead I'm going to sit here and eat a sugar cookie while I write a quick post. I wish I could be committed enough to write a post everyday. These boys do so many hilarious, awful, disgusting, cute and clever things. I know I will forget them if I don't document them!

Four weeks ago yesterday Luke came home. I continue to be amazed by him everyday. He is acclimating so much faster than I thought he would. He's eating most of the same foods as Ben. He knows his family (and extended family) very well. He sleeps through the night, takes a nap everyday. He has learned to communicate many of his needs without whining. Instead he signs (or says) "please" and "help" and "more" and "all done." He loves the pool, the playground, going for walks; he tolerates the grocery store and Target without much fuss.

Luke is definitely more compliant than Ben when it comes to diaper changes. More than once, after completing Luke's diaper change, I have asked him to go get Ben. He runs off to wherever Ben is and takes him by one (or two!) hands saying, "Come on, Ben-Ben" repeatedly, leading him to the changing mat. Such a big helper!! He likes to put things back where they belong. He usually removes his shoes when he comes inside. Last night after bath time, he went back into the bathroom to collect the boys' dirty clothes so mom could put them in the laundry basket. Too cute!

One day after Ben removed his diaper to poop on the wood floor (SO gross!!!), I decided it was time for a kid's potty. We found one at target that even "flushes"-- I just couldn't resist. ;) So far Luke is the only one that has successfully used it, but I'm hoping he will rub off on Ben.

Luke has continued to warm up to his mama. I think Dad will always be his favorite, but I'm thankful that he seems to feel safe and secure with me as well. Most days I get my Lukie snuggles after his nap since Ben sleeps longer than him, so we get a few quiet moments together. At night our routine is for Luke to cuddle with Dad while I rock Ben to sleep. We're trying to get them to bed by 7:30 or 8:00 because they keep waking up between 5-6:00 am.

For whatever reason, Luke has taken a liking to these safety goggles that were included in a tool set given to the boys. He has been wearing them for almost 24 hours straight-- sometimes over his eyes and sometimes on top of his head-- except for when he's sleeping. But don't worry, they stay in the crib next to him for safe keeping!

Luke is a little fish at the pool. He rolls around and floats and submerges his head over and over while holding his breath. No idea how he knows what to do in the water. Goodness knows he's never had swimming lessons!

Ben continues to be an energetic little pistol. For the most part he is playing well with Luke (minus the episodes of biting and pushing his brother downstairs!). He's learning new words each day. "Hot" (which he uses to describe both chicken nuggets and popsicles, so I guess in his mind it means "extreme temperature"). "Bubbles" "Berry" He's eating tons and growing like crazy. I'm not sure how it's possible, but he looks fatter everyday. Uncle Dave recently said that he thinks Ben is going to be a "glass half full" type person and I would agree. There's a lot of joy bundled up in that sweet boy!

I guess that's enough for now. I should probably get something done while I can...

Toddler Talk

Luke has already learned a lot of English in two and a half weeks. He definitely understands more than he speaks. So far the words he says are "ciao bye" (combined Amharic + English for goodbye),  "hi," "pease" (please), "da," "more," "mama," "Ben." It's so funny because you can tell by his voice inflection that he's learning words from Ben. He says "Da" and "more" and "oo-ooh" just like Ben does. He signs "cheese," "chicken nugget," and "please." He still uses Amharic for water and milk- "weha" and "wetet." We love hearing him jabber away in Amharic though we feel badly that we can't understand what he's saying. Some phrases we hear often are "Effica," "Anjou," "Danya," "Shika."

Ben FINALLY started to say "Mama" right before we left for Ethiopia. He's even starting to say "Mary" and "Dave."  Most of his signs are food related... (shocker!)
Cheese
Peanut butter
Cereal
Milk
Water
Bunnies
Crackers
All done
French fries

He can rattle off over a dozen animal sounds when you ask him "what does a ____ say?"
Horse
Cow
Monkey
Car
Elk
Lion
Bee
Dinosaur
Pig
Donkey
Duck
Dog
Bird
Fish
Bunny
Hyena
It's one of our favorite forms of entertainment! :)

Firsts

We are just amazed by how far Luke has come in two weeks. A friend recently described Luke's acclimation as miraculous and I don't think there's a better word! You would never guess Luke's history by looking at him today. He has his moments where he gets overwhelmed or scared or reverts inward but his good moments far outweigh these. Most of the time he acts just like a two-year-old should and it's easy to forget he has been an orphan since 3 months old, weighed 10 lbs at one-year-old and moved to a drastically different culture only two weeks ago. We know all of this is a direct result of your prayers and God's intervention on his behalf. I remember praying years ago for our Ethiopian child, not knowing who he was or if he was born yet, asking the Lord to please fill in the gaps for whatever is lacking in his life; please send an angel to take care of him if there are no humans to do so. Now that I know Luke and know some details of his difficult past, I am thoroughly convinced that God most definitely sent that angel to take care of him when we weren't able to be there for him. All the research you read says that the first year of life is the most critical in developing attachement and bonding capabilities. And this boy has learned to attach. There's no doubt when you see him with Dave especially! No doubt we will have our unique challenges with attachment and bonding but it's so encouraging to see how far Luke has come in such a short amount of time at home.

We've enjoyed many "firsts" together. First trip to Target (during which Luke jumped out of the shopping cart!), first wedding, first swimming pool, first hike up the Castle Rock, first fireworks (he's not a fan!), first trip to Costco, first sippy cup, first time playing the piano, first visit to the pediatrician. Dr. Healey was very impressed. He said in his opinion Luke looks great given that he has just come from an African orphanage. Skin is good. Teeth are good. We have an appointment for the eye doctor. Mobility is good. And even the doctor said it appears Luke was loved in his early years judging by how quickly he has connected with us. The only problem is his weight. Luke is 50th percentile in height for his age but off the charts (negatively) in weight. As you will see from the list below, we are trying desperately to fatten him up...

First Chick fil A french fry dipped in ketchup (he liked the ketchup way more than the fry!), first popsicle, first string cheese, first quesadilla, first chicken nugget, first yobaby yogurt, first bowl of ice cream, first fruit snacks. Each day he seems to get more courageous in trying new foods. He's learned to feed himself with fork and spoon and he's much neater than Ben! He loves to help himself to applesauce pouches and granola bars and fruit snacks from the pantry.

He's sleeping in a crib in Ben's room now. Occasionally they wake each other up but overall it's working ok. We leave his door open and we leave a night light on in our room so that he can see us from his crib in the middle of the night. This seems to give him comfort and allow him to fall back to sleep. He still sucks his forefinger and middle finger on the left hand for comfort. So cute!

His hair is growing in. He loves his baths! He likes to make his brother laugh with his crazy antics... jumping off the side of the tub into the water, playing hide and seek in a box, trying to catch bees etc.

He's too clever for his own good. When he can't reach something he finds an object to help his cause. For example, he uses the broom handle to knock of our keys from the hooks on the wall.

He does best with mama when dad isn't around. He's also warmed up to Papa and other family members who are around a lot.

Ben has struggled the last couple days with his attitude. He's had to be disciplined a lot for pushing Luke and stealing toys. Everyday is an experiment. Lots of prayers asking God for wisdom! The moments where the brothers are happily playing together bring us a lot of joy!

A Mommy's Memoir

Well, consider this your warning... this blog is going to turn into a mama's journal. From this point forward, I don't really expect anyone to read this except my mom ;). For Ben's first 18 months I had a calendar going where I'd record milestones, but I think the official note-taking is over. Instead of baby books for the boys, I'm just going to use this blog to record special things so we can always look back and remember.

Luke has been home for one week today. He's come a long way in only 7 days! He still prefers his daddy for sure but he's definitely getting more comfortable with his mama especially when dad isn't around.

He is doing really well eating... eggs, chocolate protein shakes, injera and Ethiopian stews, pasta, chicken nuggets, cheese sticks, fruit/veggie purees, whole milk, avocado, bananas, clementines... I'm pleased with this long list! Hopefully we'll start to see more fat and muscle soon! He's even feeding himself with utensils. After just a couple days of being home, he stopped pocketing food in his mouth. Hopefully he's realizing he can have food and drink whenever he wants it.

He loves his baths with Ben. He's a natural fish. Lots of splashing and laughing and gargling water. He independently scrubs himself with soap and rinses. Sometimes he even tries to help scrub Ben.

He seems to understand a fair amount of what we're saying already. We've heard him say "bye" and "come on" and "dad." Today he signed "chicken nugget" and "please" for the first time.

His sleep schedule is still off but we're getting closer to a routine. He hasn't needed to come into our bed the last couple nights. We see him periodically stand up in the middle of the night looking for us. Usually if we just say hi he lays down and goes back to sleep. He has been sleeping in a crib in our room but today we moved it to Ben's room. They napped well... we'll see if it works for overnight. Luke likes to have blankets draped on all four sides of his crib just like they did at the orphanage.

Coming up for air

I can't believe we've been home for three days already. We've been in survival mode trying to catch up on sleep and recover from sickness, but overall I would say we've had more up's than down's. We can't thank you all enough for your prayers... we know God has given so much help and grace during our travels home and our initial adjustments as a family of four.

We see progress each day. Luke continues to come out of his shell. There are moments where he is running, laughing, and playfully screaming (very loudly might I add!) when we wonder how this could be the same quiet kid we brought home from Africa. It's a rewarding sight!

Eating has been a challenge... we knew it would be. We're trying to get as many high calorie, nutritious foods in him as we can. So far we have the best luck with scrambled eggs, chocolate protein shake, fruit/veggie pouches, and stews/injera from a local Ethiopian restaurant. He looks SO SKINNY compared to Ben. Can't wait to get some meat on his bones!! 

Luke and I have had to work at bonding since he still prefers his daddy big time. It's hard to not be able to smother him with love, but we've had some breakthroughs already here and there. So far our best times together have been on walks when Dad isn't around; I either carry him on my back or he rides in the double stroller with Ben. 

We knew Ben was a sweet kid but he's blown us away with his kindness to Luke. From the moment Luke walked in, Ben has showered him with kisses, hugs, toys and food-- even when Luke has responded with fussiness or a shove. So far Ben doesn't show signs of being jealous. He gets sad sometimes when Luke doesn't reciprocate his kind gestures or when Luke starts crying loudly, but for the most part they play with each other exactly how you would expect two toddlers to play. We can see Luke learning from Ben already. So far he has taught him to give kisses, drink from a straw, stand on the radiator to see out the window, and throw things at the chicken coop to make the chickens jump. What a joy to watch these brothers together. We pray it's the start of a beautiful, lifelong friendship.

Here are a few pictures of our first days together...










                  

Homeward bound

June 21, 2017

One hour left on this 17-hour flight to D.C. I am so relieved!!

Currently Luke and Dave are asleep. Luke is still on Dave’s lap (where he has been the last 16 hours, refusing to go anywhere else!). An adorable sight. Two of my three boys resting peacefully. Luke’s perfect, dark skin contrasting beautifully against his green shirt that says “I’m the big brother.” He’s snuggled up with his big pillow and soft elephant blanket gifted specially to him by the Hulls before our trip. Headphones in ears playing familiar Ethiopian tunes. Lord, I cannot thank You enough for Your help in getting us through this long leg of our journey!!

So much has happened in three days.

Our flight departed D.C. Sunday at 11:30 in the morning. We flew for 13 hours, but in Ethiopian time it was 7:30 Monday morning when we arrived so essentially we just skipped Sunday night. Our faithful driver Tedi was a welcomed sight waiting in the parking lot of the airport. Around 9:00 we checked in at the same hotel we stayed at the last time— Addis View. Ate a quick breakfast. Dave showered; I splashed some water on my face and reapplied makeup. Maybe that will hide my fatigue. :) And it was off to the races. Time to take custody of Luke before our 2:00 pm appointment at the U.S. Embassy.

It’s at least a 45-minute drive to his orphanage, Edget. We soaked in the sights, sounds, and smells of Addis, now somewhat familiar to us. I just kept thinking about how crazy this day is for Luke. Leaving the only home he has ever known. In the last year and a half, he probably only left this compound 4 or 5 times for various appointments.  And one morning, out of nowhere, he is taken by a white couple and Ethiopian driver, never to return.  Wow.  

Dave and I talked about how he’s kind of at a tough age for this.  If he was a little bit younger, he probably wouldn’t be too aware of what’s happening.  If he was a little bit older, he could comprehend more of what is going on.  But he’s somewhere in the middle…

When we arrived at Edget, Luke was getting spiffed up by the nannies so we played with the other kids until he was freshly bathed and dressed in clean clothes. When he saw us, he tried to avoid us. We gave him his space and hung out with him and the other children for about two hours. 

With the help of Tedi’s translating skills, I was able to ask the nannies a few basic questions about Luke. What kinds of things do you think are important for us to know? What is his normal routine? What does he usually eat? What do you do to soothe him? Does he have any objects or belongings that are special to him? Do you bathe him in a tub or shower? I can’t say I got a lot of information but we did the best we could given the time constraints and language barrier. There were so many other things I’d like to ask… What Amharic words does he say most frequently? What techniques do you use to get him to eat or drink or go to sleep? What kinds of things is he afraid of? What do you see as his strengths? weaknesses? The list goes on, but I guess we’ll just figure it out as we get to know each other over the coming weeks and months!

When it was time to leave the orphanage, we took one last picture of him and his friends together. We gave big hugs to the nannies and said “thank you” over and over. We left a written letter to the staff to express our immense gratitude. Hopefully the orphanage director will translate it for them so that they will know how thankful we are for their incredible love and care to Luke over the last year and a half. He was truly loved; this we know. 

Luke sat in the back seat between me and a staff worker from our agency. He inched his way as close to her and as far away from me as he could. We drove to the embassy with our quiet and wide-eyed Luke. After a little while, he let me put my hand on his arm and then hold his hand.

The embassy was set up like the DMV. A large waiting room with workers behind windows. After a short wait, Megan called our name. We were glad we got to meet Megan. She advocated on our behalf in a big way when the Ethiopian government announced the suspension. We told her that her work will not be forgotten. Poor Luke was still quiet and scared. He clung to the lady from our agency the whole time. 

With a large immigration packet in hand, we returned to the hotel. Shockingly, Luke let me carry him out of the car without a fuss. We brought him to our room and showed him the toys and books in his new Lightening McQueen backpack. He was so brave. No tears or crying. He was just very still and didn’t make a peep. You could see he was just trying to process everything. 

We tried to get him to eat some pasta for lunch, but weren’t too successful. It is easy to understand why he is so skinny. He doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite and he has this funny habit of holding food in his mouth instead of chewing and swallowing. (During our travels home, there were times he would hold the same bite of food in his mouth for over 20 minutes at a time!) We know that getting this boy some good nutrition and improved eating habits will be a HUGE part of our parenting job at the start.

Per the nannies, Luke usually takes a nap from 12:00-2:00, but on this day he slept from 3:00-7:00!! Poor kiddo was worn out… understandably… what a day! We were grateful for the time to nap as well since we had been awake for a couple days straight. We just hung out together that evening and he slept through the night in a comfy little crib. 

The whole thing is so surreal. We’ve been pinching ourselves constantly. We can’t believe he is our son! Such a huge blessing!! Just like we did when Ben was born, we find ourselves just staring at him saying to each other, “He is so cute!”

Yesterday we had a pretty low key day. We visited the care center (the one that is run by our adoption agency) to say goodbye to Yared and tell him how thankful we are for everything he and his staff did to fight for our families and bring these children home! They did a coffee ceremony for us which is their custom for families going home. They roasted the coffee beans right there in front of us on a charcoal fire. Delicious coffee! And they made the freshest, best tasting french fries I’ve ever had!! Ethiopians definitely have the gift of hospitality.

It was remarkable to see Luke come out of his shell even in the first 24 hours. Slowly but surely, you could see him loosening up. Starting to play and laugh and run around. When we were out and about, he stayed within three feet of me at all times and wanted to be on my lap for the car rides.

That afternoon I took a little nap while Dave and Luke had fun playing together. Since then Luke has really shown a preference for Dave. If Dave leaves him with me for even a minute, Luke just screams and cries until his dad comes back. Except for 20 minutes when he was sleeping in the chair next to us, he sat on Dave’s lap for the entire 17 hours of our first flight!!! It’s so precious and it made our trip much smoother since he is so comfortable with Dave, but it’s a little overwhelming too. Dave said he feels like he’s going through Daddy Boot Camp and I feel sort of helpless. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when Dave goes back to work! But I know in time Luke and I will bond as well…

Father's Day

Sorry for being so slow to post updates. It's been a little bit of a circus since coming home ;) But at the moment both boys are napping so I'm taking the opportunity to open my computer and post the entries that I wrote while we were traveling...

June 18, 2017

I said to Dave it’s not every Father’s Day that you get to fly to Ethiopia to pick up your firstborn son!  :)  Pretty amazing.

Yesterday we flew to D.C. and stayed overnight in a hotel.  It wasn’t the best night sleep ever for either one of us, but it definitely beat the sleepless red eye flight we took the last time!  

This morning I woke up to this verse popped up on my iPhone:

Ps. 68:5

“A father of the fatherless,

a defender of widows,

Is God in His holy habitation.”

Later on the plane I read the rest of the chapter…

“God sets the solitary in families;

He brings out those who are bound into prosperity…

Ethiopia will quickly stretch out her hands to God.”

Hopefully someday Luke will see that God, his Heavenly Father, reached down seeing his need and placed him in our family.  We realize that it may take awhile for Luke to understand that this abrupt change in his life is for his greater good.  In the moment, I don’t think he’s going to feel like he’s being saved or rescued.  More likely, he will feel confused and scared.  But we trust that with help from above, he will quickly learn that he is loved and safe with us.

This morning I also read these verses:

Heb. 12:1-3

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside very weight, and the sin which so easily ensures us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.  It made me think of our little workout session at the hotel gym last night (though my walking/jogging can hardly be classified as a “race” but that’s beside the point!).  As I was on the treadmill, I was trying to process the many emotions that come with this adoption journey.  I was praying and telling the Lord that I just feel inadequate and unprepared.  There are so many unknowns.  So many “what if’s”… it’s overwhelming.  What if he doesn’t like us?  What if he just cries and cries our whole trip home?  What if he gets mad because we don’t understand what he’s saying?  What if I don’t have what it takes?  It’s scary.  But I felt Him encouraging me as I ran uphill on that treadmill.  As a matter of fact, I felt a lot more energetic than normal, like I could run for miles on end.  (Later I realized that some of that was because my lungs had just traveled from a mile-high to sea level.  Once again, beside the point!)  I was blasting Today’s Christian Hits on Pandora.  “Your love never fails, it never gives up; it never runs out on me.”   God never gets tired.  He never gives up on me.  He fights for us.  He’s fighting for Luke and it’s a privilege to be a part of that.  I know this is the race he has carved out for us.  And He reminded me that I don’t have to feel up for the challenge.  He is the One doing the work.  He will give us the strength and stamina and wisdom that we need.  “Let go and Let God.”  That’s what I need to do.

The day has finally arrived!!!

We received word yesterday that all of the immigration paperwork for Luke is in hand. We booked our flights right away. We will be leaving this Saturday and bringing our son home next Wednesday!!! :) YAY!!!!!! Can't believe this day has finally arrived. It's been quite the fight, but we are thankful for so many answered prayers!

I want to ask you to keep praying for several things...

Safety for our travels. There is still a travel warning for Ethiopia.

Preparation for Luke's heart and mind for this huge transition. I am dreading having to take him away from his current home and orphanage family. I know it's for his greater good, but I just can't imagine how hard it's going to be for him initially.

Help for Dave as he prepares to leave work for a little while. It's difficult timing for him.

Help for Ben who will be staying home. Thankfully we have so many willing family members to take care of him including my parents who are flying to CO on Saturday.

Stamina for us during our travel days. We leave Saturday morning for D.C. and plan to spend the night in a hotel to get at least a few hours of sleep before the 13-hour flight to Addis, leaving Sunday morning. We will arrive in Ethiopia Monday morning local time 7:15 am. Most likely we will have to drive directly from the airport to Luke's orphanage to pick him up. Then we will bring him to the U.S. Embassy to complete his visa application. We will spend Monday night in a hotel and hope to pick up his visa Tuesday. Our flight back home leaves Tuesday night at 10:45 pm which brings us to our next (and probably biggest) prayer request...

The 30+ hours of travel with a 2 1/2 year old boy who doesn't speak English and is probably going to feel like he's being kidnapped! We are trusting for supernatural help with this one!!

We're grateful for your prayers!!!

Maybe tomorrow?!

Today we received Luke's vital letter from MOWA. We have been told that we should receive his passport tomorrow. If we receive his passport tomorrow, we can probably schedule our Embassy visa appointment for early next week which would mean we will leave this weekend! Thank you, Lord... we are getting close to bringing our boy home!!!

Progress!

We received good news from the U.S. Embassy this week. It appears that MOWA will be issuing approval letters for families whose court decrees are dated before April 25th (ours is dated April 21st). We will hopefully receive this letter (called the vital letter) by Monday. Our adoption agency is working to get Luke's required medical physical completed by Monday. The next step will be getting his Ethiopian passport. For reasons unknown to us, there have been difficulties recently with the passport office. Families have been unable to obtain passports for their adoptive children. Our contact at the U.S. Embassy said they are working to resolve this issue. The time frame is still unknown at this point.

We are so grateful for the letter written by the U.S. Congress to the Ethiopian government on our behalf and for all the hard work by the staff members at the Embassy. There have been so many obstacles to overcome. And as always, we are most grateful for so many prayers on our behalf. Please keep them coming! Of all the efforts to bring Luke home, we know that your prayers make the biggest difference.



{Beautiful piece of art made by my sweet friend Tara Kent. We are so excited to bring our son home from afar...!}

we're not there yet...

This seems consistent with this crazy adoption journey thus far. Somehow good news always seems to be followed by bad news. After celebrating the birth certificate news on Tuesday, we learned we still can't bring Luke home. It's been hard to put all the pieces together and it's still not a clear picture but after talking to many people... our adoption agency, the US Embassy, and several other adoptive families who are in our shoes, this is what we understand:

In order to get Luke out of Ethiopia, we need his Ethiopian passport and a visa from the US. In order to get his passport, we need approval from MOWA. MOWA, for reasons unknown to us, is not giving approval for the passports right now. There are approximately twenty other families who are in the same predicament as us. Some of these families have already taken custody of their children in Ethiopia and they are now not able to leave!

Our adoption agency and the US Embassy in Ethiopia have said they have never seen anything like this before. We have been told that the judge in Ethiopia had the head of MOWA thrown in jail for not carrying out his court decrees!  Up until now, the Ethiopian adoption process has been mostly predictable and they have acted according to their adoption laws. No one knows why the adoption climate has suddenly changed.

We aren't exactly sure where to go from here. We have reached out to our congressmen to see if they will advocate on our behalf. The US Embassy is advocating for us and trying to find a solution.

Our hearts are breaking not only for our son but for the 4 million + orphans in Ethiopia who need loving homes.

Thank you for continuing to pray!!

Luke Ericson Fritzler

Our oldest son's name! We no longer have to call him "L".

Luke means "light giver " or "from light". And we chose Ericson as his middle name after my dad-- grandson of Eric. I will write more later about his name, but for now I wanted you to know you can call him Luke. :)

BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!

Psalm 118:24
The LORD has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.

I read this verse yesterday morning and had a feeling God was working behind the scenes in ways we couldn't see yet and sure enough...

Happy news today! We received a copy of L's birth certificate. This is a HUGE answer to prayer. We still don't even know how the staff was able to obtain it. We think they may have had to go through different channels than usual because of the recent adoption suspension in Ethiopia. They aren't sure if it's going to be difficult to obtain his passport yet, but hopefully not. Once we have his birth certificate and passport we will be ready to plan our trip back to Ethiopia to pick him up!

Thank you for praying!!!!!

Stuck

We wish we had good news but not yet.

Ethiopia has essentially closed their adoption program. They are saying it's a temporary suspension. We are in limbo for now. L is legally ours according to their court system but the branch of their government that issues birth certificates to allow adopted children out of the country has stopped issuing paperwork. For the time being L is stuck in Ethiopia. To be honest, the more information we receive the more bleak our situation looks. We wish we had a better understanding of what's going on, but it seems pretty complicated.

Our adoption agency and the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia and other organizations are going to bat for us, but we have no idea what the outcome will be or how long this process will take.

Emotionally this is definitely a trying time. We thought the hard part was over. We left Ethiopia believing we would be back in 4-6 weeks to pick up our son. But now we're back to waiting with a lot of unknowns. We were so close. If we had received the court decree just 4 days sooner, we would have squeaked through just before the adoption suspension. After 3 and half years, it came down to 4 DAYS. 

It doesn't make sense to us, but we are confident that God is in control. None of this surprises Him. He has allowed it for reasons we may never know. And we are going to trust Him to fight for L, to fight for our family, and to fight for so many hurting, needy orphans in Africa. 

The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. Exodus 14:14

For now, we hold our peace.

Received court decree today!

We received a copy of our official, approved court decree today. Big answer to prayer!! Thanks everyone! Tomorrow Yared will be visiting MOWA to try to obtain the birth certificate. Now we can finally post pictures of our little L!!!! Someday soon we will announce his official name ;)