Calling all prayer warriors!

Last week we were able to submit our huge I-600 packet to USCIS (U.S. center for immigration). All 212 pages! This starts the process to get approval from the United States for the twins to immigrate here. They will do a thorough investigation to verify the boys' orphan status. This can be a very long process, somewhere between 4 months to 2 years. For families who have adopted from Nigeria recently, it has taken about 6 months. We are hoping and praying for a smooth, expedited process. We'd definitely LOVE to have them home before 2023 is up. It would be a miracle, but it would be AMAZING to have them home by their 4th birthday (October 2nd)! God has made a way over and over in this crazy journey so we're trusting He will do so again. We appreciate you coming alongside to pray with us!!

From what we hear from our friends in Jos, the twins are doing well. They are surrounded by loving, intentional caregivers and teachers and friends. It seems that they understand that their family is currently in the U.S. but will be coming for them as soon as they can. We get to FaceTime with them occasionally and we get to send photos back and forth so that we can see what they're up to and vice versa. It's especially hard on Luke and Ben. They comment regularly about how much they miss the twins and wish we could bring them home right now.

Peter continues to struggle with sound, restful sleep and Zion continues to struggle with focusing during their at-home school days. We would love specific prayers in these areas.

The prayers and support we have received from so many of you is SO ENCOURAGING. Thank you! We definitely feel the community around us and behind us. We are forever grateful for that.

It's a wrap (for now!)

Psalm 66:5-12,16-20




“Come and see what God has done; he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man. He turned the sea into dry land; they passed through the river on foot. There did we rejoice in him, who rules by his might forever, whose eyes keep watch on the nations— let not the rebellious exalt themselves.




Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of his praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip. For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.




Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer.




Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!”




These verses sum up the past couple months so well!! God has done/ is doing awesome things. We praise him and continue to rely on his steadfast love!




We’ve been back in Colorado now for 3 weeks. Words cannot describe HOW GOOD it feels to be back home. Everything feels so easy. And clean. And safe. It’s quiet and it smells good. There’s an endless supply of coffee and vegetables. Man, the U.S. is so great!




We definitely wish the twins were here but wait until you hear about how awesome of a situation they have during this waiting period!! When they heard that Peter and Zion would be coming to Jos, Uncle Dan and his wife Elizabeth VERY graciously offered to have the twins live with them. They’ve only been married for 6 months…you have to have big hearts to welcome rambunctious twin 3-year-old boys into your home as a newly married couple! After they came forward to offer being the boys’ foster parents, they scrambled to find a bigger apartment to rent, sealed the lease agreement, cleaned the new apartment and moved in. All with 10 days notice!




DAY 44

(June 15)




Prep day for the crazy travel day to follow. Lots of emotions swirling this day. Adun came to see us before we left and planned to sleep on our couch one last time. It was nice to have her joyful presence around during the chaos! Peter was extra clingy. He asked me to hold him most of the day (which I didn’t mind). True to form, Zion didn’t seem to grasp what was coming. Ben had said about a week beforehand: “Mom, I’m just going to warn you. I’m probably going to cry when I have to say bye to the twins.” Sure enough, he was a puddle this evening after giving the twins hugs goodnight because he knew they’d be gone early the next morning. Even Luke started bawling. (Not typical for him!) I felt badly for them that they have to deal with such intense sadness but at the same time— it was heart warming to see just how much these big brothers care for their new little brothers in a matter of only 6 weeks together.




It was a stressful day for Dave to say the least. He was about to embark on a journey with the crazy twins by himself. AND he was freaked out about his wife and first 3 boys flying out of Lagos, Nigeria airport without him. We were definitely anxious to get through the next couple days to get everybody where they needed to be.




DAY 45

(June 16)




Travel Day!




The logistics of this day were pretty insane but all things considered— everything went well! It started with Dave leaving at 7:30 am with Peter and Zion to travel to the airport in Lagos. We sent him with snacks and lollipops and a kid leash for one twin plus a baby carrier to wear the other twin on his back. He had two suitcases to check— one with his own clothes and the other to go with the twins to Jos. We had packed up clothes and shoes, vitamins and toys, books and photos of us for them to take with them. (I’ll let Dave write up a summary of his travels.) He flew the boys on an hour flight to Abuja where Uncle Dan was planning to pick up the boys and drive them the 5 hours to Jos. Meanwhile Dave would hang out in Abuja until his evening flight to Frankfurt and then to Denver.




After they left, it was a full day of packing and prepping for us. In the next 8 hours, I got the three boys showered and put the apartment back together (We had moved a lot of fragile things so that the kids wouldn’t damage them while we were there.) Adun helped me go through all of our stuff (kitchen/cleaning items, toiletries, clothes, medical supplies/vitamins, books, toys etc). We tried to bring only what we truly needed back with us. I ended up sending her with 2 large suitcases and 2 carry on suitcases full of things. She was so excited. The things that she and her family didn’t need, she would find homes for in the slums. After weighing and re-packing our suitcases several times, we were ready when Mr. Aina came at 3:30 pm. The five of us went in his minivan while another driver drove our luggage in a second minivan. We soaked in the sights and sounds of Lagos on our slow-going full-of-the-usual-traffic trek to the airport, hearts SO VERY grateful to be heading home.




Papa and I had made a plan before we got to the airport for what we would and would not allow the pushy “helpers” to do for us. Sure enough, the second we got out of the car there were so many Nigerians trying to tell us what we needed and how much money we needed to give them for their help. We had to stand firm. We told them we just needed one or two luggage carts and had to say a dozen times, “No, we’re good. We don’t need any help thanks.” We got out of there for 500 Naira (less than a dollar) to get us one luggage cart. Pretty good! The absurdity of the airport drop-off area is impossible to describe. Mr. Aina (along with a bazillion other vehicles) dropped us on the side of the road, essentially still on the highway, with the airport in the distance. For who knows what reason, the road leading from the main road up to the airport was blocked to cars so in true Nigerian fashion, naturally everyone just dropped the travelers on the side of the highway in the midst of insane traffic so that they could walk their luggage a looooooong way down the highway road to then walk up another looooooong road to get to the airport. Not gonna lie. It was a bit scary. At first when we got out of the car, I didn’t realize how far we were in relation to the airport. It took a minute of walking for me to register what was happening. Papa pushed a huge stack of maxed-out suitcases in the luggage cart. I had a backpack and two suitcases to drag. Each of the three boys also had a backpack and one suitcase to drag. Before we had even started walking, Anders almost got run over by a pickup truck who was inching forward at the drop-off spot and of course AJ was out of his line of sight. I yanked him back and yelled at the driver. Terrifying! It was no easy task navigating all the kids and luggage through the pothole ridden roads. At least once we got to the road leading to the airport, it was pedestrian only. At one point, poor Papa unknowing drove the luggage cart over a massive pot hole and the heavy suitcases spilled over.




Needless to say we were hot and sweaty by the time we made it to the terminal. Right at the entrance, all the suitcases/bags had to be put on a belt for an initial scan then we brought them over to the line at the check-in counter. The airport definitely had a different feel on the departures side. In a good way. There were signs everywhere saying they don’t condone bribes and one of the guys at the entrance refused a tip when dad tried to give him one. It was shocking. I didn’t know there was a single soul in Nigeria who would decline a handout! Papa was nice enough to take 2 of our suitcases on his Delta flight which left me with just 4 large suitcases and a bag of booster seats to check. The check-in process was anything but quick. It was chaotic and different than what we’re used to. First you stick your suitcases one-by-one on a bathroom scale. The lady places a sticker on your bag to indicate that it’s an appropriate weight. Ours were all at the max weight. Then you wait in another line to have your passports checked. Then you head to a table and one-by-one place your checked bags up there, unzip them and the attendant looks through the contents. The lady who was looking over ours was pretty curt. She told me at the beginning that my eyes have to stay on the open bag at all times while she is inspecting. Well I had three crazy little boys standing behind me in this crowded, sketchy Lagos airport. They were getting antsy and rambunctious. They had already lived through a long day. They were hot, tired and hungry. And they had to pee. So you can imagine the scene. Multiple times I would just glance over my shoulder to make sure they were good (and make sure they were still there!) and EVERY time the lady would say in irritation, “Ma’am you have to keep your eyes here at all times.” She would say, “It’s for your safety.” I wanted to be like— well, it’s for the safety of my children that I want to keep an eye on them in this city that is very well known for high crime and kidnapping. The boys still laugh about it, talking about the lady who kept yelling at mom!




There was a super nice guy named Stanley who got us checked in at the United counter. He introduced himself to the three boys and asked them what their names were. He was so friendly and smiley. He filled out my immigration cards for me since he could see that my hands were full. As we waited for Papa to get checked in at the Delta counter, a couple nice Nigerian guys came to talk to us. They told me that they had a bet going whether or not my husband is black. This happened multiple times on the trip because Nigerians think that Luke looks like a black/white mix since his complexion is so much lighter than the Nigerian black! I think we met more friendly Nigerians during check-in at the airport than we had the entire 6 and a half weeks in Lagos! I told the boys that this was more like me and daddy’s experiences in the past when we traveled to Africa… obviously we’re used to standing out because we’re white but it was only in Lagos that we felt judged/hated for it. Everywhere else we’ve been to in Nigeria and Ethiopia, the people are actually excited to see you and like to strike up a friendly conversation. It was refreshing!




Next was another long line for more checking of passports and then a security line. The people running the security line were not too happy with me as I seemed to do everything wrong. They didn’t really explain what they wanted from you until you did it wrong. Then they’d just yell all annoyed. No, don’t take your liquids out of the suitcases. Yes, take your electronics out. No, you have to take your shoes off. Wait, the kids don’t need to take their shoes off. So inefficient. And then the lady was all annoyed with me because our items were on the scanning belt but there were people who had cut ahead of me to go through the x-ray scanner first. She feverishly motioned and yelled for me and the boys to come through but I was like, what do you want me to do? There’s a whole family who cut in front of me. Then when I finally got to go through the x-ray scanner, another lady found a spot on my right hip. She patted it down and I told her I forget I had some naira in my pocket so then of course she asked for a “little something”. I just rolled my eyes and handed her a thousand naira. These people are something else!




Papa’s flight was scheduled to take off at 10:30. Ours at midnight. We had thought that we had gotten to the airport extremely early (I think we were there by about 5 pm) but it was almost 8:00 by the time we got to this point. We were all exhausted and sweaty and hungry. And sweaty. Did I mention that? Wow, I don’t usually have bad B.O. but I did by then! We stopped in a restroom. No toilet paper, even at airport restrooms! We walked around with Papa to try to find some food. We had two readily available options. KFC and an Indome Cafe. Omg. Seemed very apropos. As if we weren’t already sick of KFC and Indome! We opted for KFC. Got ourselves the usual “Celebration Feast Bucket”. The boys devoured it. I tolerated it cuz I needed calories bad. We said bye to Papa (so glad he was able to be with us for the first part of the airport experience!) and headed to our gate. Yippee! ANOTHER long line for a passport check and security. We finally made it to the attendant at the desk and she says, “Did you have a large quantity of liquids in your checked bags?”

I said, “You mean these carry-on bags?”

“No your checked luggage.” (the ones we had checked many hours ago)

“I mean, I have bottles of toiletries like shampoo and lotion. Stuff like that.”

“Were they very big bottles?”

By this point I was getting annoyed. “I mean yeah there were some larger size bottles I guess.”

“OK, well we’re going to have to hold onto your boarding passes and they’re going to bring your suitcases up here to open them and search them in front of you. We’ll let you know when the suitcases arrive.”

“Ohhhkay…?” I said.

Next they made us go through a bizarre security line. You put all your bags (backpacks, purses, carry-on suitcases) up on a table. They make you open them up and they rummage through all the stuff. Then it’s a full pat-down for everyone, including the kids. Take off your shoes and they scan those too. Afterwards, I found a spot for the boys to sit. By this point we had been funneled to a back corner of the building. So hot. Not a shred of AC. So many people. No restroom. Still a couple hours to wait.




An airport attendant then comes up to me and explains that when my suitcases come up to the gate, he’ll let me know so they can search them in my presence. He looks at the three boys sitting on chairs and says, “Now you’re traveling with them?” I say yes. He then says, “Well there isn’t room for all of you where we check out the suitcases so we’ll just bring you back there while the children wait here.” I almost came unglued. Pretty sure my jaw was on the floor and my eyes were five times bigger than normal. I probably came out a little stronger than necessary but the Mama Bear has a way of doing that when it feels like her cubs are being threatened. I really wish I could remember verbatim what I said. I laughed outloud because it was such a crazy request and said something like, “Oh no. Nope, there is NO WAY I am separating from these kids under ANY circumstance. I don’t have another adult traveling with us. It’s just me and them. They HAVE to stay with me.” He then looked at me like I was the crazy one. He says, “Oh, it’s just right over here. We won’t be far away. They’ll be fine here.” My voice got louder. A Nigerian man sitting next to the boys was completely amused by the exchange. He laughed very loudly while eavesdropping on our conversation. (Not that he had to try hard to eavesdrop because I had raised my volume to Nigerian loud.) I said, “Sir, I don’t get firm about much but I am NOT backing down on this. You’re going to have to figure something out. These boys are coming with me wherever I go.” He finally got the message and backed down. “Ok, ok. I got it” he said.




Lots of time went by while we were waiting for them to notify us that our suitcases had arrived. Meanwhile the boys had to pee. Like I said, no restrooms in this stifling, hot back corner. I asked someone how to get a restroom. They said we’d have to exit through security and head down that hallway for a bathroom. We found a small men’s room with the door wide open. No one else in there so I sent the three boys in there and was able to watch them from the hallway. When we came back to the gate, they stopped us at the security line and said to put our bags back up on the table. I was like, “Even though we already did this?” Yup. Another thorough bag search and pat-down. This time there was another airport attendant who we had seen hours before when we were initially checking in with Papa. He was so rude and annoyed with the boys. He must have reprimanded them 6 times as they were searching our bags, “No more wee-wee. You hear me? No more “ssssssss…” (grossly acting out peeing) I saw you earlier. You went to the bathroom 5 times with Papa. You don’t need to go to the toilet anymore.” After the third time of him saying this, I was like “Well if they don’t go in the toilet, the only other option is for them to pee on the floor.” He didn’t appreciate that too much. He just kept addressing the boys telling them they’re not allowed to pee anymore. I talked myself down inside. I was just like, Rachel, it’s not worth it. You’ve made it this far. Don’t lose it now. It’s culturally acceptable in Nigeria for any adult to “parent” another child. Very foreign to us. Anyways… all is well that ends well!




AJ was starting to lose it. He was so tired! I gave him my phone to play games on. By now, there were no seats so I was standing while the boys sat on the floor. Poor Dave was calling me every 10 minutes to check in. He was so nervous about us being there without him. They started boarding around 11:00. I had started to get a little nervous because we still didn’t have our boarding passes back. I kept asking and they kept saying, “your suitcases are coming.” Eventually, the guy who had tried to separate me from the kids came back to me and said, “You’re good to go. Here’s your boarding passes. They put your suitcases through a second time and were able to better see the contents. We don’t have to search them now.” Talk about much ado about nothing!




All of the sudden, a friendly face came walking by. Initially he only saw me and not the boys sitting on the ground. Right away he says, “Rachel! Where are Luke, Ben and Anders?” It was our friend Stanley from the check-in counter. Can’t believe he remembered all of our names. He said hi to each of the boys and brought us ice-cold bottled waters. They had just started boarding (we weren’t supposed to board until group 4). Suddenly Stanley says, “Guys, hurry! Grab your things. Come with me!” He whisked us through the crazy crowds and escorted us right onto the plane helping me stow the luggage above our heads. I thanked him for his kindness and told him that my husband would want to say thank you for being there to help us. It was cool how the timing worked out… Dave had been nervous because his plane in Abuja was supposed to take off before ours did. He was anxious about not having a way to know for sure that we were safe and on our plane while on his 6-hour flight to Frankfurt. Turned out his flight was slightly delayed. As soon as the boys and I boarded our plane, I was able to get a text to Dave to let him know we were on the plane JUST before he took off from Abuja. Seems like a small thing but it meant a lot to him.




Can’t express the relief I felt once we were on that plane knowing that when we landed 10 hours later, we’d be in the U.S.!! I felt so gross. I changed clothes in the airplane bathroom and tried to cover up the smell with my deodorant. Not sure it really helped though. The stench even on my “clean” clothes was so strong. Ah, the smell of Nigeria! All of our clothes had a unique musty smell from the drawers/closets in the apartments. I can’t really describe it but I’ll know it when I smell it again! The flight was smooth. Luke, AJ and I had the three seats in the middle of the plane then Ben was just across the aisle from me. Anders slept most of the flight. Luke and Ben would have watched shows/played video games the entire flight but I did make them sleep for a couple hours eventually. I’m usually incapable of sleeping on a plane but I guess there was an up-side to being exhausted/stressed/so very sleep deprived. I slept off and on the entire flight.




When we landed in D.C., we had to go through customs. It took awhile. After getting through the line, we had to find all of our checked luggage. It was a chaotic mess. Bags and suitcases everywhere. I grabbed 2 luggage carts and said to the boys, “Ok you guys wait right here with the carts. I’m going to go over there to hunt for our bags.” Immediately Ben was like, “Wait mom, is that safe?” (Mind you, I wasn’t going far away. I had set them just a short distance from the luggage belt.) Then it was so cute, it dawned on him quickly and he says, “Oh yeah. That’s right. We’re not in Nigeria anymore.” Sweet boy. He had gotten so used to us keeping them by our sides at ALL times. After dropping our checked bags again, we had yet another security line and a pretty long walk to our gate. I’ll admit, it was torture to have to walk past several Starbucks and American restaurants but unfortunately we didn’t have time to spare. Poor AJ was losing it. He kept crying and telling me how tired his legs were. We made it to the gate, waited for awhile at the counter while they switched seats around so we could sit next to each other. Ran to the restroom, filled up water bottles and grabbed some salads from a grab-n-go station. Even though it was only like 7 am east coast time, we devoured those salads as soon as we got on the plane. Even Anders shoveled in the greens!




After landing at DIA, walking to the baggage claim, I definitely got tears in my eyes. And then of course as soon as I spotted Mary at the baggage claim, I lost it. Words can’t describe how good it felt to be home. Mary had brought our Sequoia to pick us up. My mom had sent yummy snacks and drinks for the ride home. I made Mar stop at Starbucks drive thru for an iced coffee on our way. And then Mom was at our house along with Grandma and Grandpa (Dave’s parents). It was a warm welcome from them and our sweet neighbors, Brad and Lucy. The boys wasted no time and immediately ran around outside playing in the yard they had missed so much. Papa had arrived to Denver just an hour or two before us. Dave was now in the air from Frankfurt to Denver. Miles picked him up that afternoon. (Like I said, I'll have Dave write up his perspective and post that soon!)




……………………………………….




We think of Peter and Zion all the time. I have their pictures right next to my kitchen sink. It reminds me of when you sponsor a needy child in another country and have their picture on your fridge. I think to myself almost every time I see their picture— how amazing… these are OUR kids. It’s so helpful and special to send money to help change a kid’s life who has very little. But what a privilege that we actually get to bring these two home. To OUR home. To be in our lives forever. It will be such a special day when we finally get to bring them home!!!




For now, they are so well-loved. Our friend Peter Fretheim has put together a whole team of people who are strategically caring for these boys. Peter and Zion are living with Dan and Elizabeth. They have their own beds and toys and school supplies. They have an outdoor area to play in. They have 2 people assigned to them each day to carry out a specific schedule including Bible time, play time, school time, snack time, etc. We’ve been blown away by the intentionality of this team of people who have sacrificially jumped in to care for these two during this transition period. They are deliberately reminding them of their Fritzler family in the U.S. who is planning to come get them as soon as they can. They are caring for their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. It’s just amazing!! They’re even trying to incorporate some American meals to help the boys prepare for eating different kinds of food. We could not have dreamed up a better situation for them in our wildest imaginations! Please pray for Dan and Elizabeth and the whole team of others who are taking care of them. Pray for strength and stamina. For joy and direction. Pray for sleep. Peter especially struggles with consistent sleep and we know firsthand that can get so tiring for the caregivers!!




We are working on getting all the documentation together to file for their U.S. immigration (It’s called the I-600 process). Sounds like it’s a minimum of 4 months before we’d receive approval but who knows! We were told a minimum of 8 weeks in-country for the first trip and we were only there for 6 and a half! Keep those prayers coming!

We're coming home!

DAY 35

(June 6)




We’ve used the analogy many times during our trip of God parting the Red Sea. It has been evident on numerous occasions that He went before us and made the way. As I shared yesterday, we are feeling weary. We talked last night about how it says in the book of Exodus that God made the winds move “all night” the night before He parted the Red Sea for the Israelites. I told Dave that I am believing that even though we can’t see it, God is working behind the scenes “all night” to make things ready to part the seas again. The waiting and the unknowns are hard but we are trusting that He is getting things done even when we’re in the dark and can’t see it.




Well today was definitely a Red Sea day. Over the weekend, we were notified by Morgan Hill that the courts said our certified court order should be ready by Friday (initially it was supposed to be by Tuesday— 2 weeks from the court date) so we braced ourselves for more waiting. However, this morning at 10:15 we received a note that the court order was received and Morgan Hill had submitted our paperwork for the boys’ birth certificates! We had been told previously that the birth certificates would take at least a few days but around noon they sent us pictures of the completed birth certificates. We were shocked! Suddenly everything was moving quicker than anticipated. A much-needed encouragement for us! Tomorrow we take the boys for their NIN “capturing” appointment and then our duties for this trip are complete. Time to start researching flights back to the US and coordinating details to get the twins to Jos!




DAY 38

(June 9)




It’s kind of hard to believe but we have flights booked for one week from today! Friday the 16th will be a big day. Dave has a one-hour flight booked from Lagos to Abuja with Peter and Zion in the morning. Pray for him! I really wish I could be with him to help juggle the twins on a flight but I’m sure they’ll be fine! At this point, we have to divide and conquer in order to get everyone to where they need to be. Uncle Dan plans to drive from Jos (about 4 hours) to meet them at the Abuja airport. He will then drive the twins back to Jos. Dave has a flight booked from Abuja at 10 pm to fly back to the states. Our dear friends the Fretheims are working out the details of who will be caring for the twins in Jos. As those details come together, I will share them with you. All we know is that no matter what— these boys will be well loved and cared for in our absence. And we will be able to stay in close contact with them. Such a blessing!!!




Then the rest of us will head to the Lagos airport later that day for night time flights home. I will be with Luke, Ben and AJ on the midnight United flight. My dad will be on a Delta flight around 10 pm. Saturday the 17th we should all be arriving back in Denver. On three different planes! Papa will land around 9:30 am; the boys and I around 10:30 am. Then Dave will be back late afternoon. The boys and I will have a 2-hour layover in DC after our first 10-hour leg. Dave has an 8-hour layover in Frankfurt which is why he gets in so much later.




It feels so good knowing we will be home soon!! But it’s bittersweet of course. It is going to feel so weird to not bring the twins home with us. Though they’ve given us a run for our money, we are quite fond of them and they’ve already been part of the family for 4 weeks now. We will feel the hole, for sure. I am SO HAPPY that we have the assurance that they are going to be in such a wonderful, loving environment while they wait. This takes away a LOT of stress and anxiety that would have been present had we needed to leave them in Lagos. We are working on our strategy for the best ways to talk to them about the upcoming plans and preparing them for a separation from their family for a time.




DAY 40

(June 11)




The countdown continues. 5 more full days in this apartment. We are worn out. We’ve decided that being stuck inside an apartment with 5 small boys would be a very effective form of torture. To make it even worse, add major sleep deprivation. The days would be hard enough with some regular sleep at night but unfortunately the nights continue to get harder. We’ve had a steady stream of sick kiddos… fevers and coughs, mouth sores and earaches. Peter’s sleep is very restless at baseline and gets worse with sickness of course. Dave and I are woken up at least every hour by somebody. (Usually Peter or AJ.) Unless Zion is sick, he’s a good sleeper thankfully. Dave and I are beginning to feel like we’re losing our minds but somehow God always gives the strength needed for the moment. And we are SO GLAD we have an end date in sight. Not sure we would survive this if we were still waiting for the go-ahead to book flights home!




We do our best to get creative during the day to get everyone some activity. Unfortunately the pool has been out of the question lately. The water is freezing and it’s currently full of flies. So we’ve been doing workout videos in the living room. Dave has been taking Luke and Ben to run up and down the apartment stairs. We did finally get the key for the little gym so we’ve been going there to lift weights or ride on the stationary bike. Luke and Ben and I are continuing to work on finishing our 1st grade homeschool curriculum. It’s been nice to have papa here to help Luke with his math lessons!




Adun spent the night earlier this week; she did some shopping and cooking for us and lifted our spirits per usual. We also got to meet her kind-hearted husband, Precious! More yummy jollof rice, chicken curry and sweet potatoes.




We sat down with the twins two days ago to start to explain what is about to happen. We opened a book to a world map and showed them where we are currently in Africa and where their Colorado home is. We explained the upcoming sequence of events. We told them that if it were up to us, we would bring them home right now. They understand the concept of authority so we told them that the “bosses” in our lives (the governments in our countries) have rules that we have to follow before we can bring them home. We told them that daddy will bring them on a plane to meet Uncle Dan then Uncle Dan and our friends in Jos will take good care of them while we go back to Colorado to get their home ready for them. We told them that as soon as the “bosses” give us the approval, mommy and daddy will get on a plane back to Nigeria to pick them up and bring them home for forever. We’ve been practicing the phrase “mommy and daddy always come back” over and over. We told them when they’re feeling scared, they need to say that phrase out loud. We also told them that we will talk to them on the phone when they’re in Jos. We told them they can always ask friends in Jos to call mommy and daddy and their brothers when they want to talk to us. Zion went on his merry way after the initial conversation. He didn’t seem phased at all. On the other hand, Peter’s demeanor changed immediately. It was like you could see the wheels turning in his brain. He got very serious and you could see his little tongue nervously moving inside his upper lip. The more we talk about it and rehearse their comforting phrase, the less nervous Peter seems. If we say “mommy and daddy always…”, he replies with a smile “come back.”




I’m going to miss their little voices. Zion basically speaks his own language. A lot of times he only says the first syllables of words so you’re left to fill in the blanks. Somehow I can usually translate what he says. Not sure how. Adun always says, “Yup you’re definitely the mom because I have no idea what he’s saying!” Hi sounds more like “ha.” House also sounds like “ha.” Hand sounds pretty much the same as well. Leg is “yeg.” Egg is also “yeg.” Rice is “wa.” Sometimes I ask Peter to help me understand what Zion is saying. He’ll say to me, “He’s speaking English!” As if to say, “Mom, you should be able to understand him.” They call Ben “Banana” because that’s what “Benaiah” sounds like to them. Nigerian English is basically a form of British English so their accents are great. Peter loves to say his full name which comes out “Peetah Freetzlah.” The call hats caps and pants trousers. Zion says “WHOA!” all the time. And they add a syllable to bye. It sounds like “Bye-ee.”




Poor Anders hasn’t had the easiest time adjusting to having new brothers. He’s regressed in a lot of ways. Lots of temper tantrums, meltdowns and peeing accidents. At the same time, we get glimpses of the good times to come. There are sweet moments where the three littles are having a blast together or acting goofy at the dinner table. One night when we were putting them to bed, they were cracking each other up trying to hurl insults at mom and dad. Peter would call Dave “Daddy naughty boy Fritzler.” Then AJ would say “Mommy smarty pants” and Zion would just call everyone “poo-poo.” Naturally they found themselves very funny. Another time they were at the table eating a snack, talking on and on about who knows what. I said to Adun, “Can you imagine these three in the same classroom together at school someday?” She says, “I’m going to start praying now for their teachers.” Hahaha! Probably a good idea.




This whole thing is hard but we’re all learning lots through it and we just have to keep reminding ourselves of the big picture. These sweet boys had nothing. No family. No home. And all of this will be worth it in the end. What an amazing day it will be when we get to bring them home to Berkshire Lane in Castle Pines, Colorado!!




This morning all 5 boys were at the table eating a snack. I was reminding them that we all have a choice every day, every moment. Are we going to choose to be thankful for what we have or grumpy about what we don’t have? I told them that mommy and daddy are learning this lesson too. I asked each of them to tell me something they are thankful for. Their answers were surprisingly good. Luke said “that you adopted me.” Ben said “that I was born into this family.” Anders said “that my boys are here.” (meaning the twins) Peter said “that my family is here.” Zion just parroted Peter as he often does :)

Highs and Lows

DAY 34

(June 5)




We left home 5 weeks ago tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie… we’re feeling pretty weary. We feel “stuck” in many ways. We knew this was going to be a very challenging, stretching process but I have to admit— it’s been even more so than we thought. We expected to feel cooped up and stir crazy. We expected to have to exercise a lot of patience with the twins and with the African way of doing things. We expected the adoption process to be slow-moving and unpredictable. But these are the things we didn’t expect…




The city feels more unsafe than we anticipated. So much so that we rarely go out anywhere. Adun does most of our shopping. Dave will go out once a week to do some shopping as well— mostly just so he can get outside and stay sane. With the exception of moving from one apartment to the other (just down the street), I haven’t left our compounds for the last 2 weeks. Even if we felt like it was worth the safety risk to take the kids out to a restaurant or museum or something, it’s just too stressful with the twins and where they’re at with their behavior.




We thought we’d at least have a gym to use in order to get ourselves some physical activity. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case yet. Like I mentioned previously— at our first apartment, most of the gym equipment didn’t work plus the room smelled so strongly of spray paint that it was too overwhelming to spend much time in there. We were looking forward to the gym at our new apartment, especially because it has a stationery bike! However, in typical Nigeria fashion, the security guards can’t find the key to open the gym for us so we haven’t been able to use it. For now, I’ve been doing kickboxing videos and Dave has been running up and down the apartment stairs. (Makes me a little nervous that he’s going to injure something as he runs the very uneven, haphazardly designed African stairs!)




We knew the process would be long for this first trip. They estimated 8-12 weeks. We were prepared for that. However, we weren’t prepared for getting to this point and wondering WHY we are still here. We thought there would be more of an apparent purpose for being in-country. They tell us that we have to remain in country while we wait for the official court order, birth certificates, NIN and the twins’ passports but when we try to ask clarifying questions for our involvement in these steps, we aren’t given clear answers or legitimate reasons to still be here. When we adopted Luke from Ethiopia, we had to be present in court to legalize his adoption (which makes perfect sense) but then we were able to return to the U.S. while the rest of the documents were obtained and the U.S. immigration/ approval was completed. Before coming here, we figured it would become clear why we have to stay in-country post-legalization. But it’s very much NOT clear and that is starting to cause us some major frustration. We are hoping and praying for some clarification soon. If we better understand our purpose here, it will help our perspectives greatly as we continue the groundhog days of confinement with 5 little boys. And furthermore, it will help us as we make decisions for the logistics in the coming weeks. I think we have about 17 different scenarios for how we get everyone back home. Variations include sending some or all of the original boys back to Colorado with papa. Dave and I get the twins to Jos. Or to Abuja where someone from Jos can come get them. Dave and I stay to get them to Abuja for their passport appointment. Or we try to hire a friend to bring them from Jos to Abuja when it's time for their passport appointment. Or I join papa and the boys and go back to the U.S. early, leaving Dave with the twins in Nigeria. Or we send papa back home with some of our luggage and fly the whole family to Jos. Or Abuja. And travel back to Denver together. Anyways... you get the gist. Lots of options!




We are very thankful for this new apartment. We’ve been here for 4 days now. It felt like such a huge relief when we got here. It is hard to describe how much nicer it is than the previous one! It doesn’t have so many horrible smells and weird noises and creepy cockroaches and nasty towels and the creakiest doors you’ve ever heard. The AC works great. The electricity never goes off. There’s actually a real dining room table and chairs! It’s so much more private than the other place. We don’t feel “on display” like we did at the other apartment. The only real negative is that we are extra cooped up here. There is no outdoor playground/field like the first apartment had. There is an outdoor pool but it is under a roof so there’s really nowhere to go get some sunshine and it makes for freezing cold pool water.




And of course our other bright spot is having Papa here with us now!! It is such a blessing! We’re pretty sure that Papa will always be a Santa Claus figure to Peter and Zion because when he arrived he had 2 suitcases of things for us… shoes and blankies for the twins, lots of our favorite foods, some books and toys from family back home, etc. I’ve especially loved the Tillamook cheese, Cadbury chocolate and GF pretzels that he brought!




One more positive note to end on-- Dave and I decided that it's a good sign that we still like being with each other lol. That has been one of the perks of this crazy ride. We get to be together non-stop for weeks on end. I mean, we'd rather have concentrated time together in Hawaii or Europe or something but for now, Nigeria will do. Wouldn't rather be "stuck" like this with anyone else in the whole wide world!

DAY 27

DAY 27
(May 29)




I’ve enjoyed taking a step back recently and thinking about the big picture of why we are here adopting these boys. It’s because adoption is at the heart of God’s plan for us. God’s plans are so good. He deserves all the praise for adopting us as His children. And on a smaller scale, for making this plan for Peter and Zion to be adopted into our family.




Ephesians 1:




3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, 9 he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

Deuteronomy 10:17-21 says, “For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of Lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear. He is your praise. He is your God, who has done for you these great and terrifying things that your eyes have seen.”

My sister-in-law wrote this verse in a card when we left and it has been a big encouragement as well:




2 Chronicles 20:12 For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

This is such a crazy adventure. There have been many times already (and I’m sure many more to come) that all we can say is, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you!” It’s a hard place to be but the best place to be at the same time.

Today we’re feeling a little cooped up. It’s the inauguration day for Nigeria’s president. We’ve been warned by multiple sources to stay put for the day. The elections were fraught with corruption so there is fear of violent riots. It’s also been stormy all morning, so we haven’t been able to take the boys out to swim or play. For now, they’re watching a show together. Our house manager, Promise, who has become a friend as well is sitting in the kitchen chatting with Dave. Hopefully the weather clears soon and we can get the kids outside. We’re used to the electricity going off a few times per day. Thankfully it doesn’t usually stay off for long. This morning for some reason it went off many times. Our water supply also shut off for awhile when I was trying to wash breakfast dishes. When it came on, it was dark brown in color. Not sure what that was about!

It’s been amazing to me how quick kids are to adjust to new norms. The first few days we were here, our original three boys would freak out when the electricity turned off. When it happened in the middle of the night, Luke and Ben would come running and screaming to our room. Very quickly, they became accustomed. Now they just keep their headlamps on their nightstands for when the lights go off. When the power goes off, AJ just announces nonchalantly, “Electricity is off!” It was also a new routine to brush teeth with filtered water only. All of us made the mistake in the beginning of sticking the toothbrush under the faucet out of habit. Now they are well-trained and would never think to do that. They just know to bring their water bottles up with them at bedtime to brush their teeth.

This week should pass pretty quickly. Only 3 nights left in this apartment. Woohoo! I keep looking at the photos on Airbnb of the new place where we are headed. Gives me hope :) Tomorrow we plan to get together with some of our new friends— the American family who has been stuck here for almost 2 years trying to complete their daughter’s adoption. Wednesday Adun plans to come back to help me while I get packed up for our move on Thursday. Then Papa flies in Thursday evening! He has a pile of things we’ve requested— shoes that fit the twins (their feet are much bigger than I anticipated!), “blankies” for the twins, GF pretzels, some of our favorite granolas and baking mixes, more melatonin, kids cough medicine, pull-ups, wipes etc. Sure is nice to have someone coming halfway through to bring things we want!

We had some REALLY ENCOURAGING developments lately. Last week, two ladies from our U.S. adoption agency came to Lagos for their first time. Becca, who is our main contact and coordinator, was one of them. We’re very grateful for her. She has been amazing to work with. Very responsive, smart and helpful. She lives in a different state as us, so this was actually our first time meeting her in person. It was cool timing to have them in-country while we are here and was nice to compare stories and thoughts together regarding this crazy adoption process and crazy city! As we have shared already, we have been dreading the day that we have to return the twins to the orphanage while we wait for the U.S. immigration process. We had talked about how nice it would be to be able to bring the twins to Jos to one of the orphan care centers run by our friends the Fretheims. That’s where Uncle Dan lives too as well as many other friends and contacts. We asked Becca about this possibility when she visited— thinking for sure that this would be prohibited— and she immediately answered, “Yes! Sure! They’re your kids. You can put them wherever you want within Nigeria.” We were elated! We couldn’t believe it!! We have since spoken with Peter on the phone and he was more than helpful and encouraging and completely positive about the idea. He and his wife will think and pray about what situation might be the best for the twins in our absence. There may be some Nigerian staff at the ministry or some westerners available to care for them. Or they can stay in one of the care centers. No matter what situation it ends up being, we are confident that it will be a million times better than sending them back to their previous orphanage here in Lagos. They will be safer in Jos. They will be loved and cared for by people we know and can stay in close communication with. We’re not sure yet about the timing but we hope to fly to Jos as soon as our business here in Lagos is done. Maybe another 3-4 weeks or so. We have received the go-ahead to leave Lagos once the boys’ birth certificates and NIN are received. Then we can get them settled and comfortable in Jos. Shortly after that, we should receive the go-ahead to complete the last step of our first trip which is to bring the twins to Abuja (4-5 hour drive from Jos) to complete the passport applications. At this point, we will send the twins back to Jos and we will fly back to Colorado from Abuja. Can’t express the relief and peace that this plan has brought to us on multiple levels!! It means setting the twins up for much less trauma and difficulty during the waiting period and it also means we can get out of Lagos sooner and go back to Jos again to visit friends. The last time we were there was before we had any kids at all!

Another encouragement (much more minor but still encouraging!)— we finally have a drip coffee maker in our apartment. Adun was able to order the coffee maker, coffee grinder and filters for us. Who knew it would take 3+ weeks to get access to real coffee lol! Sometimes it’s the little things in life :)

The twins continue to be a handful but we continue to see a lot of progress. They do seem to be growing in their level of trust and comfort in their new parents and family. There’s a lot less fighting. Tantrums are lessening. New habits are forming. Peter seemed to turn the corner the other day… He was really struggling with behavior and attitude. One morning, we opened the front door to answer the bell and he bolted for the street (which he knows very well not to do). Ben ran out after him to pull him back inside. Peter was mad about it and then made up a lie about Ben punching him or something. Dave dealt with it and put Peter in a timeout chair. After the dust had settled, Peter was allowed out of time out and immediately slapped Zion in the face (simply because he was the nearest victim). After the third offense, we decided we needed a bigger consequence so we told him he would not be able to swim when we went to the pool that day. We felt badly for him. It felt a bit like torture to make him sit on the sidelines of the pool while the brothers swam in the afternoon but we helped him process it and it really seemed to get through. He was able to verbalize that because he ran in the street and lied and hurt a brother, his pool privileges were taken away. His behavior has been markedly better since then.

just a few more

 

A Mother's Day to remember!!

Another day to remember-- on our way to adoption                                                                                finalization court day!

Dying of heat stroke in that stuffy courthouse.

Zion Kehinde

Peter Taiwo

Brothers

Many hours logged playing "football".

Very proud of their Colorado sports jerseys.

Big brother Luke reading the trips their bedtime stories.

6:30 am chomping at the bit to go downstairs. Waiting for mom to say "Ok, go!"

No such thing as car seats in this country.

Zion is almost as big as Luke!

Mosquito repellant line-up.

Initially Zion tried to hit/punch/choke AJ constantly. Now he just smothers him to death with hugs and kisses.

Rainy season shenanigans.

Triplets' king size bed.

Daddy is the best bedtime story reader. The boys are disappointed if the book doesn't finish with some ridiculous made-up morbid ending. Like father like son, right Grandpa?!)

Zion has been very brave in the pool since the beginning. Jumps right in with no fear. Peter on the other hand says "I'm not scared of the water" meanwhile it took him many days to jump in on his own. It's kind of a picture of their personalities. Zion is all about the fun. He doesn't really think before doing. He just does it. Peter is much more contemplative and heady. He also has a tough outer shell trying to give off a persona of being strong and independent. Inside though he has a lot of fears and insecurities.

Daily swim.

Peter loves all-things sports.

Pics Round 3

Just after our custody court hearing.

On our way back to the apartment after gaining custody of the twins!

All smiles when Uncle Dan is around.

The bar stools of death.

Our funny dining table set up for the littles.

My state-of-the-art laundry facilities.

A giant yam!

The massive pots of rice that Miss Adun cooks for us-- Nigerian fried rice and jollof rice.

Have to soak our fruit in bleach water.

AJ's makeshift sling when we thought his arm was broken.

More photos

 

Morgan Hill's office:

First adoption meeting the morning after we arrived.

One of our many interviews at the Ministry.

Pictures from our first two visits with the twins at their orphanage.

First picture of the complete Fritzler family.

A picture's worth a thousand words

 

Heading out to the airport, saying goodbye to our wonderful neighbors.

Leaving Denver with so many suitcases!

Amazing little travelers!

Finally crashed on dad's shoulders after we arrived in Lagos.

Our beloved Uncle Dan

Groundhog Day

DAY 24

(May 26)

More than three weeks since we’ve been here. 2 and a half weeks with the twins. The days are starting to feel a bit like Groundhog Day. We’re thankful to only have 6 nights left in this apartment. Moving to a nicer place will be a good change of pace. It will also give us something to do during this season of waiting. We’ve been told that we have to obtain the certified copy from the court of the adoption finalization before we can start applying for the other necessary documents (birth certificates, NIN’s and passports). They anticipate that we will receive the certified court order within the next week and a half. In the meantime we’re just trying to occupy these five boys and work extra hard on bonding with and training the latest additions. 

We’ve fallen into somewhat of a daily routine. The three littles always end up in our room one way or another so the day begins whenever the first one wakes up. Usually by 5:30 am. We then spend a lot of time and effort trying to keep them quiet in hopes of the others staying asleep. Or maybe even the two of us getting an extra minute or two of sleep! As time goes, there is some improvement. Initially Peter would just wake up at 5 something, bolt out the door, run downstairs, turn the bright lights on and start playing with his toys. We quickly taught him that this is not going to be the norm. 

Once we decide there’s no use trying to keep everyone quiet, Dave and I stumble out of bed and get them dressed. Dave heads downstairs with them and tries not to wake Luke and Ben in the process. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before heading down to help him. I always feel a sense of urgency because it doesn’t feel right to leave him with all three hungry animals for too long!

I then have to do inventory of all the sheets and clothing that need to be washed. They all sleep in pull-ups but somehow the twins manage almost every night to completely soak through pull-ups, pjs and bedding. And that’s even with me usually changing their pull-up once during the night! We have the world’s tiniest washing machine so I typically have to run a few cycles throughout the morning. No dryer. Clothes are hung out back on drying racks and clotheslines. We’ve had to start paying closer attention to the weather because you have to be quick enough to pull the drying clothes inside before the rain starts!

Dave and I take turns making breakfast for everyone. I would say it’s usually Dave who takes on this task. Typically it’s fried eggs and toast. Sometimes pancakes or oatmeal as well. We go through at least a dozen eggs every morning. Every meal, each boy has a second helping! The twins would ALWAYS eat more than two helpings so we’ve had to teach them that after bowl#2, that’s it. This used to cause major meltdowns but I think the meltdowns have lessened because they’ve realized that there is always a snack or another meal just around the corner. 

This apartment isn’t set up well for mealtimes unfortunately. There’s a few sketchy bar stool-type chairs at the island in the kitchen. (An island that has a very heavy fake granite slab on top that is completely unattached to the furniture base. Great set-up for rambunctious little boys.) Then there’s a metal coffee table with a glass top that we have moved from the living room. This is where the three littles sit. Their “chairs” are their little booster seats—the ones for the car. 

We then do the dishes by hand. We have to be thorough in allowing the dishes to dry completely before using them again since we are washing them with the nasty tap water. We have a makeshift water filter set up on the counter. It’s a large bucket that we fill with tap water and then it flows through a filtration hose to gravity. With this we fill large jugs to store in the fridge to fill up individual water bottles to drink. It works well except for when we start filling a jug, walk away mid-way through all the while telling ourselves we will NOT forget, and inevitably we forget. Or get side tracked by one of the thousands of distractions in this household. Dave and I have both forgotten several times. Usually one of the kids starts yelling, “mom there’s water in the kitchen!!” and immediately we say “oh no! I can’t believe I forgot again!” This wouldn’t be a huge deal except for the fact that towels are at a premium around here. We have 5 bath towels for the whole family. They’re pretty gross. Definitely look like they’ve been used more as rags than for drying off after showers. We shopped for bath towels early on but never found any. Just a few hand towels and rags and even those were quite expensive! Adun tried to find us bath towels while shopping but it proved challenging so we have just decided to stick it out till we get to the new place which provides more towels. Anyways… we usually just sop up the flood with dirty laundry so we don’t have to waste a “clean” (or semi clean) bath towel. When you need to wash a towel, it takes at least 24 hours before it’s ready to use because it doesn’t dry quickly. Even in the sun. It’s just too humid out. 

After breakfast, I usually try to get some schoolwork done with Luke and Ben while the littles play. Needless to say, it’s chaotic but we’re learning some strategies to actually get some work done. I don’t know if the boys would say the same but I enjoy the school lessons and reading. It’s a nice mental escape. Helps things feel a little bit “normal” and nice to actually use our brains for something more than training preschoolers, airing out laundry or cleaning up urine. Somewhere in there we have a morning snack after I’ve been asked no less than 15 times for food. (Even though it’s only 10 am AND they just ate a dozen eggs for breakfast.) Next is lunch. Sometimes indome (Nigerian Raman) or sandwiches or leftover rice. AJ has been tricky to feed. He doesn’t like what we have available for cold cuts for sandwiches. He hates indome. Has always hated peanut butter. And refuses to eat rice. Good cheese is hard to come by. He doesn’t like the grilled cheese sandwiches that I’ve made because the cheese is so different. Sometimes I just feed him more eggs for lunch. Or a steak sandwich. Or leftover spaghetti. 

Depending on the day, Dave and I will try to help each other out to allow the other to get a workout. We try to get Dave some chunks of time here and there to focus on work.

In the afternoons we usually take them to the pool that is within our complex. By then we’re ready for a cool down and it helps the boys get some energy out. There’s usually some soccer playing on the little turf field nearby and there’s a small swing set and merry go round as well. We’ve only used the gym a couple times. It reeks of spray paint. Like overwhelmingly so. And the equipment isn’t much to write home about. That was disappointing because that was one of the main reasons we chose this place- for the gym. But looks like the next place has a much better workout room so we’re looking forward to that!

We bring them all back and get them bathed/showered. Then we try to eat by about 5:00 because— you guessed it— they’re all starving again! Our dinners are pretty basic. I’ll bake some chicken or potatoes. I’ve done a beef stir fry. We’ll bake some frozen French fries or make some spaghetti. Sometimes we order pizza delivery from Dodo’s. That’s been a lifesaver. Thankfully Adun’s meals add some pizazz! I don’t think we’ve eaten anything green since we’ve been here. Definitely missing our salads and roasted veggies from home. 

Usually we let them have a little downtime right before or after dinner. Luke and Ben like to lock themselves in their room and play games on their tablets. I then put on a kids’ show like Bluey or something animated for the littles. Pretty consistently it’s just Peter and Anders watching the show. Zion just doesn’t really care about screens which honestly I’m happy about! He’ll just go play quietly off by himself while the others watch. All the boys have loved playing with magna-tiles. We brought a bunch of them thankfully! They also do a lot of pretend play which usually involves packing their backpacks and driving somewhere like school or on a camping trip. All five of the boys’ favorite place to play is in the tiny kitchen. I guess there are some benefits to having a kitchen that is so poorly stocked. It means there are a lot of free cabinets for kids to get into. They make camping sites and houses and cars and whatever else out of the cabinets. At times, there will be 4 boys smushed into one cabinet at a time! There’s always lots of roughhousing, kicking/throwing balls and arguments over who took whose magna-tiles.

After dinner I check the laundry that has been hanging outside to dry. It’s usually still damp so I bring it inside and hang it on our interior stairs railing to finish drying overnight. Then it’s time for pull-ups and PJ’s for the littles. We brush their teeth and read some books and sing some songs (The very lively Old MacDonald by daddy is a favorite). We usually start this process around 7:00. We’ve had quite a variety of sleeping arrangements. Sometimes we put all three to sleep in a king bed then we usually bring AJ into our room later to sleep on the couch. Initially we did it because we didn’t really trust that the twins wouldn’t harm him in his sleep lol. Now we just do it because when Anders calls out for something in the middle of the night his screaming won’t wake anyone else. Except for one night when Zion stayed in the king bed all night, the twins always end up in our room. For awhile we had little cushions on the floor next to our bed for them to sleep on. Covered in garbage bags to protect the cushions from urine! Now we have a couple soft benches pushed together at the foot of our bed so the twins can sleep there side by side. And this way they can share the big comforter to keep them warm in our air conditioned room. They would get so cold when they were sleeping on the floor and we don’t have any extra blankets around here. Either Dave or I have to stay in their room until all three are asleep. Takes about 45 minutes. Once the littles are asleep, it’s usually about 8:00 and Luke and Ben are often chomping at the bit for some attention from mommy and daddy so we try to do something fun with them. We’ve been playing Sequence or a new game for us called Castle Panic. Then we get them a snack and head upstairs for the second round of teeth brushing and book reading and tucking into bed. By now it’s usually 9:00 or after. We usually haven’t had time to shower yet, so we get our showers done and then sit down with a cup or tea or a glass of wine and debrief from the day. Sometimes Dave has some work to do or I finish laundry/dishes and read for a few minutes, then we’re ready to crash by 10:30!