Groundhog Day

DAY 24

(May 26)

More than three weeks since we’ve been here. 2 and a half weeks with the twins. The days are starting to feel a bit like Groundhog Day. We’re thankful to only have 6 nights left in this apartment. Moving to a nicer place will be a good change of pace. It will also give us something to do during this season of waiting. We’ve been told that we have to obtain the certified copy from the court of the adoption finalization before we can start applying for the other necessary documents (birth certificates, NIN’s and passports). They anticipate that we will receive the certified court order within the next week and a half. In the meantime we’re just trying to occupy these five boys and work extra hard on bonding with and training the latest additions. 

We’ve fallen into somewhat of a daily routine. The three littles always end up in our room one way or another so the day begins whenever the first one wakes up. Usually by 5:30 am. We then spend a lot of time and effort trying to keep them quiet in hopes of the others staying asleep. Or maybe even the two of us getting an extra minute or two of sleep! As time goes, there is some improvement. Initially Peter would just wake up at 5 something, bolt out the door, run downstairs, turn the bright lights on and start playing with his toys. We quickly taught him that this is not going to be the norm. 

Once we decide there’s no use trying to keep everyone quiet, Dave and I stumble out of bed and get them dressed. Dave heads downstairs with them and tries not to wake Luke and Ben in the process. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before heading down to help him. I always feel a sense of urgency because it doesn’t feel right to leave him with all three hungry animals for too long!

I then have to do inventory of all the sheets and clothing that need to be washed. They all sleep in pull-ups but somehow the twins manage almost every night to completely soak through pull-ups, pjs and bedding. And that’s even with me usually changing their pull-up once during the night! We have the world’s tiniest washing machine so I typically have to run a few cycles throughout the morning. No dryer. Clothes are hung out back on drying racks and clotheslines. We’ve had to start paying closer attention to the weather because you have to be quick enough to pull the drying clothes inside before the rain starts!

Dave and I take turns making breakfast for everyone. I would say it’s usually Dave who takes on this task. Typically it’s fried eggs and toast. Sometimes pancakes or oatmeal as well. We go through at least a dozen eggs every morning. Every meal, each boy has a second helping! The twins would ALWAYS eat more than two helpings so we’ve had to teach them that after bowl#2, that’s it. This used to cause major meltdowns but I think the meltdowns have lessened because they’ve realized that there is always a snack or another meal just around the corner. 

This apartment isn’t set up well for mealtimes unfortunately. There’s a few sketchy bar stool-type chairs at the island in the kitchen. (An island that has a very heavy fake granite slab on top that is completely unattached to the furniture base. Great set-up for rambunctious little boys.) Then there’s a metal coffee table with a glass top that we have moved from the living room. This is where the three littles sit. Their “chairs” are their little booster seats—the ones for the car. 

We then do the dishes by hand. We have to be thorough in allowing the dishes to dry completely before using them again since we are washing them with the nasty tap water. We have a makeshift water filter set up on the counter. It’s a large bucket that we fill with tap water and then it flows through a filtration hose to gravity. With this we fill large jugs to store in the fridge to fill up individual water bottles to drink. It works well except for when we start filling a jug, walk away mid-way through all the while telling ourselves we will NOT forget, and inevitably we forget. Or get side tracked by one of the thousands of distractions in this household. Dave and I have both forgotten several times. Usually one of the kids starts yelling, “mom there’s water in the kitchen!!” and immediately we say “oh no! I can’t believe I forgot again!” This wouldn’t be a huge deal except for the fact that towels are at a premium around here. We have 5 bath towels for the whole family. They’re pretty gross. Definitely look like they’ve been used more as rags than for drying off after showers. We shopped for bath towels early on but never found any. Just a few hand towels and rags and even those were quite expensive! Adun tried to find us bath towels while shopping but it proved challenging so we have just decided to stick it out till we get to the new place which provides more towels. Anyways… we usually just sop up the flood with dirty laundry so we don’t have to waste a “clean” (or semi clean) bath towel. When you need to wash a towel, it takes at least 24 hours before it’s ready to use because it doesn’t dry quickly. Even in the sun. It’s just too humid out. 

After breakfast, I usually try to get some schoolwork done with Luke and Ben while the littles play. Needless to say, it’s chaotic but we’re learning some strategies to actually get some work done. I don’t know if the boys would say the same but I enjoy the school lessons and reading. It’s a nice mental escape. Helps things feel a little bit “normal” and nice to actually use our brains for something more than training preschoolers, airing out laundry or cleaning up urine. Somewhere in there we have a morning snack after I’ve been asked no less than 15 times for food. (Even though it’s only 10 am AND they just ate a dozen eggs for breakfast.) Next is lunch. Sometimes indome (Nigerian Raman) or sandwiches or leftover rice. AJ has been tricky to feed. He doesn’t like what we have available for cold cuts for sandwiches. He hates indome. Has always hated peanut butter. And refuses to eat rice. Good cheese is hard to come by. He doesn’t like the grilled cheese sandwiches that I’ve made because the cheese is so different. Sometimes I just feed him more eggs for lunch. Or a steak sandwich. Or leftover spaghetti. 

Depending on the day, Dave and I will try to help each other out to allow the other to get a workout. We try to get Dave some chunks of time here and there to focus on work.

In the afternoons we usually take them to the pool that is within our complex. By then we’re ready for a cool down and it helps the boys get some energy out. There’s usually some soccer playing on the little turf field nearby and there’s a small swing set and merry go round as well. We’ve only used the gym a couple times. It reeks of spray paint. Like overwhelmingly so. And the equipment isn’t much to write home about. That was disappointing because that was one of the main reasons we chose this place- for the gym. But looks like the next place has a much better workout room so we’re looking forward to that!

We bring them all back and get them bathed/showered. Then we try to eat by about 5:00 because— you guessed it— they’re all starving again! Our dinners are pretty basic. I’ll bake some chicken or potatoes. I’ve done a beef stir fry. We’ll bake some frozen French fries or make some spaghetti. Sometimes we order pizza delivery from Dodo’s. That’s been a lifesaver. Thankfully Adun’s meals add some pizazz! I don’t think we’ve eaten anything green since we’ve been here. Definitely missing our salads and roasted veggies from home. 

Usually we let them have a little downtime right before or after dinner. Luke and Ben like to lock themselves in their room and play games on their tablets. I then put on a kids’ show like Bluey or something animated for the littles. Pretty consistently it’s just Peter and Anders watching the show. Zion just doesn’t really care about screens which honestly I’m happy about! He’ll just go play quietly off by himself while the others watch. All the boys have loved playing with magna-tiles. We brought a bunch of them thankfully! They also do a lot of pretend play which usually involves packing their backpacks and driving somewhere like school or on a camping trip. All five of the boys’ favorite place to play is in the tiny kitchen. I guess there are some benefits to having a kitchen that is so poorly stocked. It means there are a lot of free cabinets for kids to get into. They make camping sites and houses and cars and whatever else out of the cabinets. At times, there will be 4 boys smushed into one cabinet at a time! There’s always lots of roughhousing, kicking/throwing balls and arguments over who took whose magna-tiles.

After dinner I check the laundry that has been hanging outside to dry. It’s usually still damp so I bring it inside and hang it on our interior stairs railing to finish drying overnight. Then it’s time for pull-ups and PJ’s for the littles. We brush their teeth and read some books and sing some songs (The very lively Old MacDonald by daddy is a favorite). We usually start this process around 7:00. We’ve had quite a variety of sleeping arrangements. Sometimes we put all three to sleep in a king bed then we usually bring AJ into our room later to sleep on the couch. Initially we did it because we didn’t really trust that the twins wouldn’t harm him in his sleep lol. Now we just do it because when Anders calls out for something in the middle of the night his screaming won’t wake anyone else. Except for one night when Zion stayed in the king bed all night, the twins always end up in our room. For awhile we had little cushions on the floor next to our bed for them to sleep on. Covered in garbage bags to protect the cushions from urine! Now we have a couple soft benches pushed together at the foot of our bed so the twins can sleep there side by side. And this way they can share the big comforter to keep them warm in our air conditioned room. They would get so cold when they were sleeping on the floor and we don’t have any extra blankets around here. Either Dave or I have to stay in their room until all three are asleep. Takes about 45 minutes. Once the littles are asleep, it’s usually about 8:00 and Luke and Ben are often chomping at the bit for some attention from mommy and daddy so we try to do something fun with them. We’ve been playing Sequence or a new game for us called Castle Panic. Then we get them a snack and head upstairs for the second round of teeth brushing and book reading and tucking into bed. By now it’s usually 9:00 or after. We usually haven’t had time to shower yet, so we get our showers done and then sit down with a cup or tea or a glass of wine and debrief from the day. Sometimes Dave has some work to do or I finish laundry/dishes and read for a few minutes, then we’re ready to crash by 10:30!