Court Hearing Day

DAY 7

(May 9)

We got the boys up bright and early to head to the courthouse. We dressed up a little more than normal. Long pants for all the boys. We were advised this is a sign of respect. I packed bags of snacks, books, toys and tablets/headphones to keep the kids occupied since we needed to be prepared for a long wait. We arrived a little before 9 am. Mr. A accompanied us along with Uncle Dan to the adoption court room. It was hot and stuffy. AC unit not working. Lots of people sitting in multiple rows of chairs. When we walked in we were shocked to see P&P sitting there with several nannies and other children from their orphanage. They immediately ran over to us and tried to snatch toys and snacks from “mommy’s bag”— they’ve already learned that this bag always has good stuff. It was pure chaos. Small, untrained children in a very warm warm, fighting over any and every item that we brought. I finally thought to send Luke and Ben out in the hallway with Uncle Dan to play on their tablets. At least they could be spared from the madness. We chased P&P all over the place. They are the epitome of “flight risk” and they are FAST. We were up on the fourth floor of the building and there was a series of ramps that lead you to the bottom. At one point, P2 made it all the way to the ground level parking garage at the bottom of the ramps before I could catch him. I was yelling like a madman to other bystanders to grab him. 

I think it was about 2 and a half hours in that we were called to an office in the back. There was a well-dressed lady behind a desk, our case worker Cheri (name changed), a nannie from the orphanage and a couple other women— they might be orphanage staff members as well, social workers perhaps. No one introduced themselves, but eventually we determined that the lady running the discussion was the judge. At first I wasn’t sure if this was a pre-discussion before we got to talk to the judge. It was a small office with a lot of people crammed in, including us, the original 3 Fritzler boys and the soon-to-be Fritzler twins. The twins were literally bouncing off the walls. The impression we are getting is that no one can control them. They are a force to be reckoned with. The judge looked at me and Dave and said, “Now you already have three boys. Why do you want 2 more?” with this look on her face that said, “Are you crazy??!” We explained that we felt it was a calling by God for our family. We told her about our previous trips to Africa where the original seeds were planted for a desire to adopt children who didn’t have families. “How are you going to manage?” she asked with that same look on her face. Disbelief. Horror. Confusion. It was a disjointed conversation, primarily thanks to the twins and their constant noise and shenanigans but we were able to communicate that we have a lot of support at home. She looked at one of the other ladies the room (maybe a social worker) and said, “I don’t know. We might need to give them 3 weeks bonding.” Thank the Lord, this lady advocated on our behalf and asked her to start with 2 weeks. The judges words were literally, “Ok, 2 weeks. I just want these kids out of my office!” She said it with a smile but she was legitimately annoyed by all the commotion. It was entertaining. We left the office thankful and relieved. We had to wait just another 15 minutes to take a picture with some of the members involved in our case. After that, I asked Cheri, “Do we take the boys now?” She said yes and we were off! That was it! No further instructions or official paperwork stating they are now in our custody. I didn’t know if maybe the twins would be sad to leave their friends and nannies but there wasn’t an ounce of sadness or a moment of looking back. They held our hands and walked out of that building with confidence and what appeared to be relief.

It felt pretty surreal bringing everyone in the van. We gave them each a new backpack we had brought for them with a stuffed animal, a book, a lollipop and a water bottle. They were thrilled. P2 fell asleep comfortably in my lap shortly after getting into the car. P1 sat contentedly on Dave’s lap. They immediately called us mommy and daddy and practiced their new brothers’ names.

Once we got back to the apartment and let them loose, we were able to see some of the rough edges a bit more clearly. I think Dave and I were a bit in shock. WHOA! It was very clear that they were used to running wild without many boundaries at all. Lots of fighting with each other and with their new brothers. Complete disregard for any instruction we tried to give. Many demands “gimme this, gimme that,” crazy loud screams—sometime happy, sometime sad. Peeing all over the place. Tantrums when they didn’t get what they wanted. But we just kept reminding ourselves, this is going to be a process. Little by little, we will train them and explain what it means to live in a house with a family. For now, our focus is to keep everyone safe and to prove ourselves faithful to them. Without this bond of trust, there will be no training!

When we told them it was time for sleep, they fell apart. SO MUCH screaming. Overall they were so happy but it makes sense that they were overwhelmed at the same time. So much change all of the sudden. Uncle Dan was a big help in calming them down. He spoke to them loudly and firmly—Nigerian-style and reassured them that they would get to play again tomorrow and have fun with their new brothers but for now they had to go sleep. After much ado, they calmed down. We played with them in a bed along with AJ. Luke and Ben laid down on the floor pretending to go to sleep as well. This helped them calm down and go to sleep. P&P and AJ fell asleep together in one bed. Throughout the night, they each ended up in our room. AJ on the couch. P&P in our bed, but at least everybody got some rest!