Big day! Adoption Finalization Court

DAY 20

(May 22)

Over the weekend, our Morgan Hill officer told us that the Ministry requested an appointment with our family for Monday morning at 10 am to complete an “important document.” This wasn’t a step listed in our schedule so at first we were a little confused. Not sure if there was something we should be nervous about. We were scheduled for Tuesday morning at the courts for our bonding assessment. Then the plan was to receive yet another court date to legalize the boys’ adoption. On Sunday, I said to Dave, “Wouldn’t it be nice if they could just jump ahead to the adoption finalization on Tuesday’s court hearing?” And after I said those words, I thought maybe we should just pray for that. It wouldn’t be the typical course of events but it sure would be nice to not have to wait yet another couple weeks for the finalization. Sure enough! When we went to the Ministry for our morning meeting today, the lady in charge of the adoption department pulled out our file and started signing papers to give us approval for the legalization of the boys’ adoption the following court day! Wow! Such a gift!!

It was a long and trying day for the kids. Yet another day of being dragged around, spending many hours waiting in long car rides and adoption offices. Our driver was late in arriving at our apartment. Without traffic, he said it should take him about an hour to drive to our house. Instead this morning it took 3.5 hours! Apparently the president is in town so there were multiple road closures. We were at the ministry from about 10:30-12:30. We had promised the kids that we would stop at Domino’s on our way home and grab some ice cream from Coldstone. The traffic and road closures were so bad heading home that we couldn’t get to Domino’s so we ended up stopping at a different pizza place on our way. What should be about 45 minutes to an hour took us at least 2 hours to get home. 

P&P use the phrase, “I have to wee” when they need to go potty. AJ has started to use their phrase now too. He’ll say, “Mom I have to pee. I mean, wee.” hahaha

P&P get very excited to wear sweatshirts. The rest of us are roasting in the heat while they’d be happy bundled up in sweatpants and sweatshirts. They crack us up because they call sweatshirts “Candy-dahs”. We asked our social worker and officer about what they were saying and they explained that Nigerians call sweatshirts or sweaters “cardigans” so we think that’s where “candy-dahs” comes from.

DAY 21

(May 23)

Another court day! We got everyone up around 7 am. Mr. A arrived around 8:00 to drive us to the court. We were prepared for a similar process as the last time. Arrive by 9 am. (We got there at 8:30.) Be prepared with snacks and toys because it could be a long wait. The judge (magistrate) may or may not show up. It took a whole 5 minutes of being in that hot room for us to feel like we were melting. It was so hot and stuffy! Luke and Ben were pretty content with their tablets and headphones playing little video games. The other three were a different story. All the things I brought would hold their attention for anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes then they would fuss or tantrum or meltdown. Poor AJ has definitely had his world rocked these last few weeks so his behavior currently mirroring that of the twins. I think it was only about 10:30 when we got called back to the magistrate’s office. Our Morgan Hill officer Cheri was with us as well as a representative from the Ministry and some other people whose identities were never provided. All five boys were pretty quiet and well-behaved. The judge and some others in the room commented that the twins’ behavior was much better today than when they were in that office two weeks ago. “You’re doing a good job!” they said. Unfortunately, the magistrate started looking through the papers and quickly dismissed us all. She was not happy with the Ministry rep. The Ministry had lumped P&P’s files into one. The magistrate thought this was completely unacceptable. She said they are individuals and they need to have individual files to review. She made us leave the room and said we could call us back later once the paperwork was fixed. She reminded the Ministry that if they didn’t get this resolved today, we’d have to wait awhile because she was about to leave on vacation. The Ministry lady scrambled. Made copies. Had us re-sign some forms. Now we’re stuck in the hot waiting room full of people again with some very antsy, tired, grumpy little boys. No idea how long we have to wait. The Ministry lady and Cheri assured us that everything would be fine but it was unsettling to say the least. The magistrate was NOT happy and you’re just completely at her mercy at this point.

After a LOOOONG 3 hours trying to keep the littles happy in that hot room— did I mention how hot it was?! ;), we were finally called back into her office. At first it didn’t seem to go well. The Ministry handed the magistrate the updated paperwork and she asked a lot of questions. There were more forms that she was not happy about. She just kept saying, “You only have one copy of this? I need two copies for each file.” Thankfully she didn’t kick us out again. The lady from the Ministry made copies of whatever the judge requested. It’s impossible to describe the disarray of papers and files spread out all over the place. Made me and Dave with our type A brains start twitching. The twins’ papers kept getting put in the wrong piles on the desks in the room. The judge would start writing on one of the papers and then she’d lose that paper in the sea of documents and everyone would start hunting for it. She started with Peter’s file and went down her checklist asking the Ministry lady to hand her each item (things like our notarized tax returns, bank account statements, medical reports, utilities, payment stubs, birth certificates, marriage certificate etc.— all the stuff we had sent over in our original dossier way back when.) She asked us to write out what legal name we would like Peter to have. We wrote “Peter Taiwo Fritzler.” She then read through a formal proclamation of the legalization of Peter as our child. Everyone clapped and cheered. I was holding Peter, trying to explain what what was happening but I don’t think he really understood. Although he has been practicing saying his new name “Peter Fritzler” in his Nigerian/British English accent. So cute! Next, the went through the same process for Paul’s file. We wrote down his new legal name for her: “Zion Kehinde Fritzler.” She said with a chuckle, “Okay Kehinde, come receive your court order.” He stood very stoically at her desk as she read off the official adoption proclamation and everyone clapped and cheered for the second time. Phew! It was done! Dave said he doesn’t think he’s ever prayed so hard as when the judge was combing through those papers with a million criticisms. So many emotions. COMPLETE exhaustion and COMPLETE elation. Our nerves were fried but our hearts so grateful. Grateful most of all for this big step completed (2-4 weeks sooner than expected!) and grateful that we don’t have to do ANOTHER long court day as originally planned.

Now that the boys’ adoption is finalized, we are allowed to share photos and names. The boys are estimated to be about 3 and a half years old. They have been at the orphanage for about a year and a half. When they arrived at the orphanage, they were able to communicate their names: Taiwo and Kehinde. These are names from the Yoruba tribe (a tribe common to Lagos). We have learned that historically the Yoruba tribe has a higher incidence of multiples than other people groups. When they have twin boys, they usually name them Taiwo and Kehinde, Taiwo for the boy who is born first. When the boys arrived at the English-speaking orphanage, they started referring to Taiwo as Peter and Kehinde as Paul (these are the English equivalents of their birth names). We always hoped to name a Nigerian son after our friend Peter Fretheim who is a missionary in Jos, Nigeria, so it seems providential that one boy was already given that name! Peter Fretheim and his wife Miriam have lived in Nigeria for over 20 years now spreading the good news of Jesus and operating many ministries to help the poor and needy, including orphans and widows. I have known them since I was a young child. They were the reason I first came to Nigeria back in 2007 and it was on this trip that God planted the seeds for a desire to adopt orphans from Africa. Dave and I have always loved the name Zion. Over the last couple of weeks we have talked to Paul about whether he likes the idea of a new name and it seems that he does. He has taken to the name Zion quickly. We wanted to keep their Yoruba names to honor their birth mother (though her identity is unknown) and to show respect for their Nigerian origins.

You would think that since the adoption is finalized, that means we should be near the end of the process. Unfortunately, there is still a LOT that needs to be done before we can bring them home to the U.S. Next steps are to obtain the official court order, apply for the boys’ Nigerian birth certificates, NINs (Nigerian equivalent of a social security number) and Nigerian passports (which will include traveling with them by plane to Abuja to the passport office). We are required to stay in country for all of the above steps. This is estimated to take at least another 4 weeks. After this, we will have to return the twins to their orphanage while the rest of us fly back to the U.S. We are dreading this part more than we can express. EVERY SINGLE DAY Peter says “I don't want to go back to the orphanage.” We haven't yet told them that this is a necessary part of the sequence of events. Please pray for God’s help and grace all over this. We feel so badly for them. They were already matched with a family last year who decided not to adopt them after 1 week of custody. We were told that it was a very traumatic experience when they were returned to the orphanage after thinking this was going to be their forever family.

Once we return to the U.S. there will be many steps to complete to gain approval from the U.S. to accept the twins as U.S. citizens. We will need an I-600 approval from USCIS (United States Center for Immigration Services). There will be multiple parties reviewing the boys’ files to validate that they are indeed legally adoptable orphans. Then we will need exit visas from the U.S. embassy in Lagos. We are told to expect at least a 4-month wait from when we return to the U.S. to when we can go back to Nigeria for a 2-week trip to pick up the boys and fly them home. We have learned of many horror stories of other adoptive families who have had to wait a year or two for this process to be completed. And worse. There's a family who has a legally adopted child in Nigeria who has been stuck here for almost 2 years with no end in sight for if/when they will receive U.S. approval of immigration for their daughter. However, we are doing our best to stay positive and hopeful, trusting in the One who started us on this journey in the first place. “For we know that all things work together for good for them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” This is true.