Years ago, we started this blog when we were on Luke’s adoption journey from Ethiopia. Decided to get it up and running again for our current “call from heaven” to adopt the twins from Nigeria.
Sorry we’ve been slow to send out updates since arriving here in Nigeria. Today is the first day I’ve had a minute to sit down and type something up. It’s been a jam-packed 2 1/2 days since landing in Lagos!
Some of these entries will be quite detailed and long-winded so please don't feel the need to read every word! We are trying to document as much as we can for our own memories and also for the sake of the twins down the road. This way they will have this part of their story in writing!
I will start with a few verses that have been on the forefront of our minds thus far. This one our neighbor Lucy sent to us before we left and seems very appropriate:
O Lord, I will honor and praise your name, for you are my God. You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago, and now you have accomplished them. (Isaiah 25:1 NLT)
This one was mentioned by several family members and friends in texts, notes and prayers before we left:
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:8
We flew out on Tuesday. We felt very loved with both sets of grandparents and our next-door neighbors Brad and Lucy (kindest neighbors in the world!) seeing us off. My parents drove us to the Denver airport around noon. Dad drove the pick-up— the bed stuffed to the gills with luggage. The rest of us in the Sequoia with Mom. The plane took off around 3:40 pm and landed in Frankfurt, Germany 10 hours later. You would think Luke and Ben were very experienced little travelers. They sat in the middle row together. Not a single complaint. Thanks to screens of course ;) Most of the time they’d have two screens going each—the airport TV and their tablets. They ate their snacks and airline meals contentedly and got up to use the bathroom independently when needed. They each took a little nap on this flight. Anders was a good little traveler too. He sat with me and Dave and curled up with blankie and Teddy to sleep for a lot of the flight. I enjoyed reading on my kindle (felt like a gift to have time to read!)— a book about a doctor working in Haiti. Dave did some work and watched a movie. Dave and I aren’t real talented at sleeping on flights. Even with a little red wine and melatonin, just couldn’t get comfy enough.
We only had 2 hours in Frankfurt for our connection. Just enough time to take buses and escalators for a long walk to the gate and a quick run to the restroom. We looked longingly at the German food in restaurants as we walked by, but no time to stop! It was very easy to know we had made it to the right gate. Suddenly we were very much the minority. Maybe one or two other white people in the boarding line.
The second plane ride was about 6 hours long. Luke and Ben didn’t sleep at all. They just kept up their screen time and snacks. AJ snuggled up again with Teddy and slept for hours. Even Dave and I were tired and nauseous enough to fall asleep for a little bit this time!
DAY 1 in Nigeria
(May 3)
We prepared mentally for landing in Lagos. We talked through our strategy and prayed for help. We had been warned that the airport is overwhelming on many levels. I strapped AJ to my back in a baby carrier and we told Luke and Ben to follow dad closely while I brought up the rear. We got off the plane and immediately turned to balls of sweat from the heat and humidity. It’s hard to describe what it was like. In some ways, it was easier than we anticipated. In other ways, harder. There were three lines labeled “non-Nigerian” immigration. We went to the first desk. The immigration officer looked at our passports and asked us for a handout— “some money to buy water” he said. We politely said we couldn’t do that and tried to walk off. Another airport officer stopped us and said we were actually not in the right line. We were supposed to go to the second or third desk apparently. He told us to “get back in the queue” but by then the line was long so we just ignored him and stayed in the front of the line. Thankfully there were some kind gentlemen in line who said they were fine with us “cutting.” The kids were exhausted and I didn’t want to make them wait any longer so that was a gift! This next immigration officer checked all of our passports and took our photos and fingerprints. She wasn’t the friendliest and definitely didn’t move quickly. (Nothing in Nigeria moves quickly!) We had specifically been given 3-month business visas from our contacts at the Atlanta consulate but this officer just ignored that and stamped them as 1-month visas. Not a huge deal but kind of a bummer. Just means we have to pay more money while in-country to get visa extensions.
We had been told by experienced Lagos travelers that we would be inundated by Nigerians asking to help carry our bags, looking for tips. They strongly advised to decline all such offers. But we had TEN suitcases and five carry-ons + backpacks and it’s a long walk down the street from the airport to the parking garage where our hired driver planned to meet us so we did need some help. After getting through immigration, we were told by some kind airport officers that they would load all of our bags on a large “trolley” (luggage cart). They said we just had to pay a one-time fee of $15 US. We paid them the money and they handed us a ticket. Thankfully all 10 of our suitcases and kids car seats were at the baggage claim quickly. The boys had to use the restroom. There were attendants outside the restroom who wouldn’t allow me to take them with me to the ladies’ room so Luke and Ben used the men’s room without me. Then of course the attendants wanted a tip. I handed them a little bit of Naira (Nigerian currency) that my dad had given me before leaving. They just laughed at me and said “this isn’t enough.” I just smiled, said “thank you” and walked off. No matter how much I gave them, it wouldn’t have been enough! Then the original guy who said he would take care of us for $15, said they needed another $15 to give the officer in “customs”. We figured that was probably worth it. Gave them the $15 and the customs officer checked our baggage tags. He cleared us without much trouble but then another airport officer came asking for money to “share” with everyone for their help with our bags. The original officer said “You can give him some money. He’s my boss.” I gave him $5 and he laughed in my face. “This isn’t enough.” (I think that’s the Lagos airport motto!) We said “sorry” and kept walking. Now we had two DIFFERENT airport attendants pushing our luggage cart down the long street outside the airport, lined with Nigerians. The whole time they were saying things like, “We need a little money for the help… We’ll take care of everything. You don’t need to do a thing. We’ll load the suitcases in the car… We’ve never even seen US dollars. We would just like to see them…” We assured them we would give them a tip for their trouble once we got to the parking garage. We approached the parking garage and someone in the crowds grabbed one of our suitcases off the trolley and tried to run off with it. Another man yelled at him and grabbed the suitcase back.
Once we made it to the parking garage we had to wait another 15 minutes or so for our driver to arrive. All the while, the guys were asking for money. We told them as soon as the bags got loaded we would take care of them. I wanted to ask Mr. A, our driver recommended by our contacts at Morgan Hill Children Foundation (the organization in Nigeria that assists the government with caring for vulnerable and orphaned children), for a recommendation on how much was appropriate to pay the attendants. When Mr. A arrived with two Toyota Sienas— one for us and one for our luggage— I asked how much money I should give them. He said 2000 Naira. When everything was loaded, we gave them the N2k and once again, were given a hard time. “It’s not enough,” they said. “This is nothing. You can take it back.” They literally handed it back to us through the car window but some other guy came to take it. Yup, we were officially out of our comfort zone now. We felt relieved and grateful as we pulled away from the airport with all our kids and all our luggage!
Mr. A drove the van with all the luggage and the rest of us followed in the other van with the second driver. He wasn’t too chatty. Luke and Ben almost immediately fell asleep on Dave’s shoulders. We took in all the sights, sounds and smells. Brought us right back to our previous trips to Africa. We didn’t know if Lagos would feel way different than other African cities we’ve been to (Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and Abuja, Nigeria). Lagos has a much larger population than those cities — 24 million as compared to Addis (5 million) and Abuja (4 million) but honestly it felt very similar. It’s just huge and lot and lots of traffic. Impossible to describe the traffic. Traffic like we’ve never seen. Not in Denver, not in New York, not in Addis.
The drive was a little over an hour to our apartment in Lekki, just outside of Victoria Island. Our friend Dan from Jos, Nigeria was at the apartment gate when we arrived. He was a sight for sore eyes! It brought so much peace of mind to have a trustworthy Nigerian friend to greet us and help us as we get settled into what feels like a scary, uncomfortable place. This is actually his first time to Lagos. He took an overnight 17-HOUR(!) bus ride to meet us here! Now that’s a friend, right?! Unbelievably kind.
Our first impressions of the apartment were that it was decent for African standards. Not as clean as we would like but also not filthy. It is spacious and the beds are firmer than we’re used to, but still comfortable. The air conditioning units work better in some rooms than others. I’m the biggest wimp of the crew when it comes to heat; thankfully our room’s AC works well! We brought suitcases inside. I got all the kids showered and in clean clothes and right to bed. We ate some random snacks from our bags for dinner and went to sleep as soon as possible!
DAY 2
(May 4)
Our first assignment was to meet with Morgan Hill at their headquarters in Lagos on Thursday morning at 10 am. Thank goodness I set an alarm for 8 am because there is no way any of us would have woken up on our own before that! We woke the kids up and ate random snacks again for breakfast (trail mix, granola, peanut butter). No coffee. Dave and I don’t do well with that ;) Mr. A picked us up at 9 am. Their headquarters were located back by the airport. The drive that took us about an hour the night before, took almost 2 hours this time. They didn’t seem to mind that we were 45 minutes late for our appointment. We sat in a tiny room with 5 people from Morgan Hill around a table. Uncle Dan kept the three boys occupied in another room with some snacks and games that we had brought. Tunde, (name changed for privacy), our main contact person at Morgan Hill, greeted us with smiles and kindness. She explained in more detail the in-country process that we will be going through. She kindly asked us to keep in mind that Nigerians are different than Americans. She told us that we will need to be patient through this entire thing. She said that she has learned that Americans like to “over communicate”. She said Nigerians are not that way. If they say they are working on something, that means they are working on something and we just have to wait. These were all good reminders for us as we prepare mentally for the weeks ahead. We might not receive frequent updates on progress like we would like, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t moving forward. It was evident that her heart was so much in the right place. She cares deeply about these orphaned children and wants the best for them. She and her colleagues asked us questions and she stated that they were relieved to hear our answers in regard to why we want to adopt these boys. There was a family previously matched with the twins and they decided to back out after meeting the boys so I think everyone is on edge not wanting that to happen to these sweet boys again. We assured them we are in this for the long haul. We believe God has called our family to adopt these precious ones.
After the meeting was over, we asked Mr. A to drive us somewhere to exchange US dollars for a good rate. Nigeria has been in the middle of currency crisis so this isn’t the easiest task ever. We weren’t able to exchange more than $400 US. The rate was US $1 to N 700 which was decent. For context, the going bank rate is only US $1 to N 460 so it’s important for us to be careful where we exchange dollars.We then went to our first Nigerian grocery store experience so we have something more than crackers and granola to eat! We stocked up on some good stuff. It will definitely be a process trying to find options that we like and aren’t crazy expensive but it was a good start. The cashier wasn’t wild about us paying for a large order with cash (guess I can’t blame her: for a $265 US order that’s about 186 Naira bills) but once again— if we use our debit or credit cards we get the significantly lower exchange rate.
It was late afternoon by the time we got back. We realized our kitchen wasn’t well stocked. For instance, only one spoon and one fork! Dishes have to be hand washed and thoroughly dried before using again because the tap water is not as clean as at home. This is extra challenging when you don’t have any hand towels, rags or paper towels to dry with! We decided to just eat yogurt and sandwiches for dinner and save cooking a meal for a different day. At bedtime, we killed our first cockroach. Well Dave did. I can’t take credit for that! That night my prayer was that meeting the twins the next day would give me and Dave the needed hope and motivation to continue navigating the challenges and uncomfortableness for the next couple months. I didn’t feel stressed or scared like I have on previous trips to Africa, but I also didn’t feel super comfortable or excited about staying here for many weeks. Just felt like I needed some extra “pep in my step”— a reminder of why we are doing what we’re doing.
DAY 3
(May 5)
Needless to say, all 5 of us were very excited this morning. The long awaited day was here!!! Mr. A came around 10:30 to drive us to the orphanage accompanied by two kind ladies from Morgan Hill. The drive took a little over an hour. When we were driving the streets leading up to the orphanage and arrived at the large black metal gate at the entrance, it reminded me so much of the path that led to Luke’s orphanage in Addis. We were greeted by many kind orphanage staff members. They led us up a set of stairs to a sitting room where P&P were with some other young children. (We are not allowed to share names or photos of them until the adoption is finalized so for now we will refer to them as P1 and P2.) My first glimpse was of P2 peeking out of the room at us coming up the stairs. Beautiful big eyes and fun dreds. Next I saw P1 sitting on the couch. A darling face and shaved head. We knelt down and told them how happy we were to see them and meet them. They were shy but also quick to respond to questions. We asked “what’s your name?” and they both answered right away. P1 let me hold his hand while we were talking. Luke and Ben were super helpful in breaking the ice. I asked them to grab the balls and jump ropes we had brought. This helped encourage all the kids to play together. Some other small children from the orphanage joined in as well, climbing immediately into my lap. We played with a sticker book together. Anders was shy and clingy. I think it was overwhelming because there were so many eyes on us. Several of the nannies were in the room with us.
They then led us back downstairs to a play room where just the 7 of us could interact along with one nanny and the two ladies from Morgan Hill. P&P warmed up so quickly. They ran and played, throwing balls, jumping rope, going down a slide, jumping off a couch, playing on a see saw. AJ was still reserved but did warm up a bit. Luke and Ben were great. They were all smiles playing with the twins. They were patient and kind to them even when one of them would wack them with a toy or accidentally bump them in the face. We had been told that P1 was the leader of the two who did most of the talking but he was actually pretty quiet. P2 on the other hand was loud and active and happy. He called P1’s name constantly. They’re definitely attached at the hip! They loved digging through my bag to see what kinds of toys and snacks they could find. If there was a ball around, P1 was all in. He’s a footballer (soccer player) for sure. We were playing with letter magnets and I was surprised to hear them calling out letter names and sounds. Apparently they go to school 5 full days per week. They would occasionally rattle off phrases in a language we couldn’t understand (Yoruba is their native tongue) but most of their communication was in English and they seemed to understand most of what we were saying.
It was love at first sight. They opened their hearts so quickly. They let us hug them and hold them. We weren’t expecting that! P2 called me “mommy” after an hour. I didn’t even hear it at first. The other ladies in the room got my attention and said, “he called you mommy!!” They also called Dave “daddy”.
P2 was very much the caregiver of everyone in the room. The nannies said he is always this way. When P1 bumped his arm, P2 was right there to check on him and ask if he was ok. When the nannies brought snacks and juice boxes, he intentionally handed them out to all the other kids first. Then he even offered his own snack and drink to the ladies. Truly I think this kid would give the shirt off his back to anyone!
I was very impressed by the man who was one of the orphanage directors. His kind heart was apparent. Full of smiles for the children. He kept handing out lollipops to all of them. The kids would poke their heads into his office window and he’d come out with more lollipops. It made me laugh when P2 had an extra lollipop and he came to me and said “mommy, put this in your bag”. I said “oh so you can have it later?” He says “yes!” Smart kid.
We were blown away by the orphanage. For African standards, it is so nice. It is very evident that the staff care about the children and take them time to get to know them. We were told that the boys love Indome (a Nigerian noodle soup) with eggs on top and they like rice. They go to bed by 8:00 and it appears they are potty trained.
After three hours together, it was time to go. Our current three boys hadn’t had lunch yet and it was now about 2:30. As soon as the twins heard we had to leave, P1 hung his head and got super quiet. He wouldn’t let us hug him. We reassured him that we would be back soon to see him. Poor boy. P2 on the other hand not only let me give him a hug goodbye, he also smothered my face in kisses. A moment I will never forget!
When we got back in the car, Ben said “They are so cute. I can’t believe we get to adopt them!” That pretty much sums up the sentiment of all of us!
What a privilege to have this opportunity to bring these boys into our family! They already seem like Fritzler boys. Full of motion, noise, fun and love.
God answered last night’s prayer above and beyond everything I imagined. Today gave us all the hope we need to get us through any challenges ahead.
DAY 4
(May 6)
Finally a day to breathe a little bit! No appointments or anywhere to be. Continued to work on unpacking our bags. Haven’t had time for that yet! Dave left at 9 am so Mr. A could bring him to exchange money and get a few more necessities (fans, hand towels, a few food items). They were gone for 2 hours even though the store is not far away. You’re going to feel like I’m a broken record but the traffic is truly UNREAL. And to make matters worse a rainstorm came while they were out. To us it felt like a monsoon. To the Nigerians it’s just par for the course during rainy season. Dave could not believe the amount of water on the roads. It was just like they were driving through an instant flood to get home!
I did a little school with Luke and Ben. Uncle Dan played with the kids. Dave played soccer with them on a little turf field in our compound. I cooked some fajitas for dinner. They weren’t bad considering we didn’t have access to salsa or sour cream! Ben and I are enjoying eating gluten. The wheat here doesn’t seem to bother us like it does at home. A real flour tortilla was a treat!
We could use some prayers regarding interactions with one of the security guards at our gate. Most of them are very nice but this one guys doesn’t seem to like us much. First he told Dave that he isn’t allowed to kick the soccer ball in the driveway in front of our house. (This was during the rainstorm and the kids just needed somewhere to get their energy out.) Then he told Dave and Dan that adults are not allowed to play soccer with the kids on the little field. After much discussion he wouldn’t back down. Hopefully it will get resolved soon. Just praying for wisdom. We definitely need to stay somewhere that has good options for 5 boys to run and play!
In the evening the kids swam with Dave for two hours! I got to go for a short jog on the treadmill in the gym right next to the pool. It felt good to move even if the gym was hot and reeked of spray paint!
This evening Dave and I decided the culture shock is wearing off a bit. I don’t know how to describe it… it’s almost like your brain needs a few days to shift to “Africa mode”. Things that felt uncomfortable initially now just feel normal.
For instance, in a comedy of errors we realized at bedtime that our AC unit in our bedroom was basically gushing water onto the floor in a huge puddle. Dave stuck a towel and a pot underneath and we turned it off. He had bought a fan earlier that day at the store so at 11:30 at night he took the fan pieces out and started putting it together only to find out that it was missing the main shaft to attach the fan to the base. So he propped it up between a chair and a desk in our room and secured it with duct tape. Papa (my dad) would be proud! Instead of feeling inconvenienced or frustrated we could just chuckle, roll our eyes and use a phrase we learned recently from a westerner who lived in Africa as a child: “WAWA” (West Africa Wins Again)!
We are thankful that some of the ”little things” are taken care of. We have a better system for washing dishes and produce. We have a few towels and rags and some silverware now. I’ve only seen one more cockroach. I made the mistake of leaving fruit out on the kitchen counter. Learned that lesson! We are slowly figuring out how to navigate the currency issues. Just learning patience and contentedness as we figure out life in a very different place!!
DAY 5
(May 7)
We got to visit the twins again this morning. We hung out with them for about an hour in that same play room as the last time. At first they act wild and crazy, throwing things and being rough. But even in an hour, we could see that as the excitement settles, their emotions calm down and they’re able to interact more calmly and listen to gentle instruction. At one point while P1 was sitting on Dave’s lap he said “I come to your house?” We said “yes, we will come get you in 3 days and bring you to our house.” “And what about P2?” “Oh yes! You will both come!” That seemed to set his mind at ease. Sweet boy. Both boys always seem to have the other in mind.
Luke and Ben weren’t as playful today. I think all their soccer playing, jumping rope and swimming yesterday has actually worn them out! They woke up saying their legs were sore. Anders was less shy today and interacted more with the twins. I thought it was sweet— when P1 accidentally bumped AJ, he turned around and patted him on the head saying “sorry.”
Prayer requests: That our meeting with the Ministry (governmental body that oversees adoptions) goes well tomorrow morning at 10 am. That our custody court hearing on Tuesday also goes well. Lord-willing, we will be able to pick the boys up after the hearing and bring them to live with us! On a much less important note, that we can find some good coffee to drink lol!
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